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The Slacker Mom

Perfume, and a Book Rave

by Erin Clotfelter on 08/29/2014

A few months ago, I joined a book club.

I really needed an outlet that didn’t have anything to do with a) Autism, or b) parenting, and this was right up my alley.  The books have been fun to read, the company has been great (we’ve only have one meeting, but still- awesome group!).  The thing with reading, at least for me, is that once I start, I can’t stop.  I start seeing books I want to read everywhere I go.  It certainly doesn’t help that a certain member of the group insists on posting new lists every few days.  (I kid, I kid- I love the lists!)

This is how I ended up reading Coming to my Senses, by Alyssa Harad.

Way back in 2007, I kind of stumbled upon the online perfume world.  I fell.  Hard.  I was a review reading, decant buying, sample sniffing frag hag.  I couldn’t get enough!  And then I got pregnant, and promptly lost the ability to enjoy any of it.  Over the next few years,  my perfume addiction was traded in for a cloth diaper addiction.  There have been a few purchases since having kids, but no late night scrolls through forums discussing the new releases or where to find a bottle of a discontinued signature scent*.

But, this book!

This book brought all of that back.  It was like taking a trip down memory lane (although I admit she was much more hardcore than I ever was).  I absolutely devoured this book.  And then I promptly started trying to figure out what perfumes she was talking about in the book (she does not name them all), and then entered my fragrance wardrobe to Basenotes.

After six years of making babies, my nose is in perfect working order.  I’m wearing a new scent every day, and I’m loving it.  Well, except that Tarentella.  That was a scrubber, right up there with Chanel No. 5 (I know.  Blasphemy!).  This book snapped me out of my mom funk- it gave me back a little piece of me, before kids.  And I’m so thankful I stumbled back into this little world.

*Sensi- if you have a bottle of Armani Sensi wallowing at the bottom of a drawer, I’m your girl!

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Sometimes Parenting is Hard

by Erin Clotfelter on 05/06/2014

I’ve been saying it for a long time.  Judah is by far, our hardest kid.  He meets his milestones.  He has conversations at a level far above that at which he should.  He is polite.  He is helpful.  He is a loving cuddle bug who wants to be with me all. the. time.

I asked for a Mama’s Boy, and I got one.

But, 5% of the time (maybe 10% on a really bad week), he is so difficult, it makes both of us rethink this parenting gig altogether.  The thing that works to put the kibosh on his particularly bad behaviors (shouting the F word at John for the duration of his well-visit comes to mind) is just not giving the behavior any attention.

None.

Not a raised eyebrow.  Not a dirty look.  Certainly not a verbal acknowledgement, time-out or other punishment.  The second he knows he’s raised your blood pressure, even just a little bit, it’s like gas on the fire, and he’s going to keep going and going and going, and the bad behaviors start to snowball.

It’s really really HARD to ignore him when he gets into one of these cycles.  It took us a long time to figure this out, it was hard to stick to long enough to see results, but it’s what works for him.

With the birth of El Blanco Pequito, the past two months have brought extra help to our house, an extra set of eyes on him, and probably most problematic as it pertains to this: an extra set of eyes on us and our skills as parents.  I won’t lie, it’s harder to stick to your guns when grandma is right there expecting some sort of punishment to be doled out.

So, we’ve had a few really difficult weeks, some really terrible behaviors that have reared their ugly head that we thought were long since buried.  We’ve snapped on multiple occasions, and the bad behavior fire is roaring. We completely abandoned our policy of ignorance, in an attempt to look like we were “doing something”.

Acknowledging the bad behaviors got us probably the most stressful 2 weeks of parenting so far, culminating in the above mentioned well-visit.

So, after many tears, lots of yelling, and talking to multiple professionals, we are back to our original plan.

Ignore it.

Aside from a few attempts at getting us to waiver (“Mom? What does…MUCK mean?”), things have been pretty calm the past few days.

This is far from the last parenting hurdle we will ever face, but it has taught us one thing- we know our kids.  We know what makes them tick, we need to have faith in ourselves and our decisions, and not change tactics because we happen to have an audience.

 

 

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So this happened…

April 29, 2014

(Let’s pretend I didn’t just completely neglect this space for the better part of the past year and jump right into the here and now, shall we?) This kid joined our family: Silas 7 pounds, 11 ounces 20.25 inches At first he looked like this: All nice and pink*, and perfectly happy not impressed to […]

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Queen of my Castle

November 5, 2013

This is going to ramble a bit… Way back in July (August?) we decided we were just going to go ahead and announce this pregnancy so I could freely talk about it here.  Of course that pretty much meant I would have all of the energy (and will) sapped from my body immediately and I […]

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Throwing a Great 1st Birthday Party

September 8, 2013

One thing that parents seem to look forward to with a new baby, is the big First Birthday.  For us, it’s not as much about the kid, as it is about surviving that crazy, sleep deprived, year full of other firsts.  With the twins, we went a little above and beyond what we would normally […]

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O-oh here she comes.

July 28, 2013

On Friday, I had the earliest ultrasound I have ever had. My due date was moved back two days, I got to see our teeny tiny, and hear a little heartbeat. It was awesome. I’ve been sinking into that constant nausea that slowly takes over and envelopes every movement, every breath, every second of the […]

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You know what they say about plans…

July 20, 2013

35 is tricky. At least it seems to be for me. On one hand, we are finally in a house, feeling settled. On the other hand, my body is starting to rev up for the big change. Or so I thought. Apparently the ladies in my family all have biological clocks that expire in the […]

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Helloooo Out There!

June 14, 2013

Well, it’s been awhile. I have to say, there were many days when all I wanted to do was sit down and write, but time was just not on my side. Here are the high (and low) points: We bought a house!  We closed on the 31st and have been in full-on moving mode ever […]

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I Thought I Lost my Kid.

May 1, 2013

Right now I am sitting at my dining room table, trying to figure out how in the world I am going to get this house packed up. I can’t get the dishes done without Judah running out the backdoor, let alone do work where I need to be sorting and organizing and getting rid of […]

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Is it Friday yet?

April 18, 2013

I seriously need it to be Friday.  And I need Friday to be GOOD. This week we had… Monday, which brought clarity to the fact that you should never trust someone who switches between his landlord, investor, and businessman hats so frequently.  Also: people who think the phrase “I’m putting my (fill in the blank) […]

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