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Posted: September 26th, 2007 | Author: | Filed under: Before We had Kids! | No Comments »

Helena is home. Finally. Still with some struggles, but she is home.

I can’t imagine what it feels like to carry a baby for nine months, give birth and then leave it with doctors and nurses every night for a month. To finally be home has got to be amazing.

Waking up in the middle of the night to pump or feed as opposed to waking up in the night fraught with worry…amazing! I have a hard time being away from my husband and my dog for more than a night, and even then I can’t sleep a wink. A baby, unimaginable.

I’m so proud of Carrie. What a way to be thrust into motherhood. You do everything right and still, you never know the outcome. The patience you must need to endure. The strength.

I think about it all the time. I’m not sure if I have what it takes. A baby, a kid, a little Clotfelter. I wouldn’t do everything right. I’d have a crazy unstoppable sushi craving and poison my child with mercury. I wouldn’t do everything right. I suppose you can’t do EVERYTHING right though. Babies are born to meth heads every day- kids who come home from the hospital no problem. Why is that? Why does the meth head get the nice trip home while the eco conscious do-gooder gets a month in the NICU?

I’m not the first one to ask this question. I won’t be the last. For all the mothers that question every little thing, there are those that don’t give it a thought. It’s a crapshoot.

Anyway. She’s home. Tears of joy. Overwhelming love. Prayers have been answered. She’s home.

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