Just another Minnesota Mom blog.

Big Platform- Big Responsibility

Posted: August 9th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Misc. | 4 Comments »

This past week, a blogger many (thousands and thousands) have come to “know” and love had a very big opportunity to make a big impact with a very personal issue that was hinted at on her blog, and later revealed by some cleaver Internet sleuthing.

I’m talking about MckMama and the revelation that she was the victim of Domestic Violence (what exactly I don’t care to know) and the police were called to her home twice last year.

Domestic Violence is a huge issue in our society.

MckMama has had millions of hits to her blog.

That’s a pretty big platform to take a huge stand against violence towards women.

Did she take this opportunity to speak out against it?


She DID however make light of it, sweep it back under the rug and get hundreds of comments to the effect of: everyone has issues in their marriage- it’s really no big deal.

I’m sorry. Calling the police- even if it’s just over a shouting match- is a pretty big deal.

Letting women believe that it’s OK to be in relationships where this behavior is “the norm” is a big deal. Women get killed every day from Domestic Violence because they think it’s OK and it’s something that “happens to everyone” and, it’s going to get better if I change…

And, I’m sorry- but this DOES NOT happen in all marriages. Not everyone has such a turbulent marriage that arguments escalate to that level. Marriage is hard, but it doesn’t have to dissolve into threats and violence.

I’m glad that she and her husband are getting counseling, and like I said before- it’s not my business what transpired on those days.

But, considering her platform, and the fact that she speaks to many “Christian” women- a group likely to endure this plight in silence because divorce is not an option and the Bible teaches submission, she really dropped the ball.

What should have happened when this information surfaced was a statement more to the tune of: Domestic Violence is not good, verbal abuse is not good- make sure if this is happening to you, you get the help you need- just like we are.

I think big name bloggers owe it to their readers to use their space as a teaching tool when opportunities arise. I don’t think MckMama ever thought this would surface, then again, maybe with her “Glass Houses” post she was making sure it did.

Either way, she missed a valuable opportunity where she could have made a real difference to someone who may be suffering abuse. The only message she she put out was this: It’s really no big deal- if I can handle it, you can too…doesn’t everyone?

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4 Comments on “Big Platform- Big Responsibility”

  1. 1 Muliebrity said at 7:51 pm on August 9th, 2009:

    Right on! I also think she missed the boat on the fincial issue as well. With a house in foreclosure and her husbands business slow, we still see the family traveling, making purchases (little blue dresser) and eating out. If you can not afford your house, you probably should not be doing these things. Many people are in the same finicial situation and could really relate to both the domestic violence and financial hardship her family are facing. She is missing out on real teachable moments.

  2. 2 Sarah said at 7:51 pm on August 9th, 2009:

    Thank You for posting about this… I agree with you and was really disturbed by her "it's no big deal" attitude.

  3. 3 j said at 9:21 pm on August 9th, 2009:

    Sometimes the strenght of denial is too much. If we consider that she never alluded to trouble at home, to her it would be like dropping a bombshell on her family and on the web at the same time. Maybe with time and reflection she can address the situation in a way that reflects her growth. It is a sad and difficult situation.

  4. 4 All My Monkeys said at 12:02 pm on August 10th, 2009:

    "But, considering her platform, and the fact that she speaks to many "Christian" women- a group likely to endure this plight in silence because divorce is not an option and the Bible teaches submission, she really dropped the ball."

    I guess I would disagree with your singling out of "Christian women" as "likely to endure". I don't think it would be any higher than non-Christian women. And in fact, I would guess it would be lower as they usually have a support system within the church (counseling, small groups, mentors). The concept of submission is also clearly misunderstood by you and countless others. Submission does not equal being a doormat or lifelong punching bag. It has more to do with your "place" in the home, just as you would have at your job. Your boss has "authority" over you, in a way. You may not always agree with how he runs the business, but it's his job and you have to trust that he will do his best. Not that that always happens, but… And just as you would not take abuse from your employer, neither does God expect you would from your husband either. He does not like divorce, nor does He forbid it.

    "I think big name bloggers owe it to their readers to use their space as a teaching tool when opportunities arise."

    Yes, YOU think. I agree that it provides an awesome platform, and it's a good idea. I think that one would hope that opportunity would be taken. I don't agree that she "made light of it and pushed it under the rug." I think she "dropped hints" to get it out there (and for every nosy person out there, goggle away), as her way of addressing it to the level she felt comfortable with at that time, and that, as she usually does, when it is good timing for HER, that she will address the issue. IMO, it would be disrespectful to her readers and to her husband to discuss such a tender issue prematurely, as in, prematurely for her and her husband. Obviously it is something that IS being dealt with in their home, and she would be better off with some "water under the bridge" and time to sort out her thoughts etc, before she started "dispensing advice" as she is often accused of doing.

    If you think that she needs to disclose all her hardships and her bank balance, then I would ask you all to do the same. I will gladly check back here to see who actually decided that it was a good idea to blog their checking acct balance, exactly how they spend their money, what their wise and unwise spending habits were, an all their marital/sexual/family woes all of their life have been. Go ahead, lay it all out there for the world to see. Skelatons and laundy, please!!!

    Oh, wait, that's none of my business. SOrry, I guess I was mistaken.

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