Just another Minnesota Mom blog.

She’s NOT a bigot. She’s just a Mom.

Posted: October 20th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Blogging | Tags: growing pains, men's rights, Mom stuff, pre-school, Protecting your kids, safety | 220 Comments »

Raise your hand if you have a daughter.

Raise your hand if she is a toddler.

Raise your hand if she is in pre-school.

Raise your hand if you are OK with some random room Dad helping her with her undies in the bathroom.

Got your attention?

I’m not OK with this.

Jenna Myers Karvunidis wasn’t either.

When she went to drop her daughter off at the pre-school co-op and saw the volunteer of the day was a Dad, it occurred to her that she had not considered that he might be in charge of bathroom duty. She asked what the policy was (there was no policy preventing a man taking a girl to the bathroom). Then she asked them to make sure her daughter was always with a woman when she was in the bathroom. She did not ask them to revisit their policies for everyone, she just wanted to make sure her daughter was never in the bathroom with a man.

Her reasoning was this: how do you teach your kids stranger danger and good touch bad touch when you blur the lines. How can so and so’s dad be OK helping in the bathroom at school but that same act not be OK at a neighborhood BBQ. Two-year-olds don’t really have a lot of reasoning capabilities- I totally get why she questioned this.

The school eventually granted her request and then went a step further and said they would investigate the policies in other pre-schools and come up with something more in line. Win-Win! Right?

Not so fast.

A Men’s Rights group on Reddit picked up her post and they were not too fond of what she had to say. They called her a bigot, they called her a bitch, they called her many other things. They took to her blog in droves.

They registered her as a Bigot on Register-Her!

They are trying to figure out where she lives.

Seriously.

Most of them ignored the fact that she was talking about a *volunteer* and not someone hired to be in the classroom.

They all dismissed the fact that she is just a mom, looking out for her daughter. Which is her right. Actually, it’s her JOB. Maybe if someone these guys Moms had done the same, they wouldn’t be so angry today?

She eventually took her post down but Jezebel picked up the story and the comment threads continue to grow on Reddit.

I won’t blow smoke, I’m not her biggest fan. But, I do think she’s one heluva mom.

And NO ONE deserves to be bullied for trying to keep their kid safe.

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220 Comments on “She’s NOT a bigot. She’s just a Mom.”

  1. 1 africa18 said at 9:45 pm on October 20th, 2011:

    Wow!!! I don't have children of my own, but I have a few nieces and I would NOT be ok with any grown man helping them in the bathroom other then their own father!!!
    My recent post Day 25 – What I would find in your bag

  2. 2 erinclot said at 9:56 pm on October 20th, 2011:

    Yeah, I really have a hard time with this, and I don't have daughters. I feel like we spend a lot of time teaching kids how to be safe and this is just a little too much.

  3. 3 SgtMom said at 2:02 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    I wouldn't be OK with YOU helping children other than your own, either.

  4. 4 Jenna said at 10:11 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Ok…fine. But Why exactly? Is it because this poster has a different opinion than you?

  5. 5 Catalogue said at 11:11 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    But if you made things up about male gynecologists and published them to support your decision, you would be an public bigot and therefore open to criticism.

  6. 6 Marta said at 9:46 pm on October 20th, 2011:

    Im on the fence about this. I think the reaction and harassement is totally uncalled for. I wonder what would happen if a man had a problem with a mom helping their son? I think it’s a terrible double standard that dads are always under.
    Marta recently posted..Things I’ve Never DoneMy Profile

  7. 7 Catalogue said at 11:35 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Do you feel that people should be able to continue publishing lies about men with impunity?

    How many people saw her made up statistic and believed it? Publishing such a lie not only demonizes men but it hides female pedophiles and makes it more difficult for their victims to come forward and be believed.

  8. 8 erinclot said at 4:19 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Which statistic would you rather use? 25% of pedophiles are women? Men still make up the other 75%. If you think that is better you are kidding yourself.

  9. 9 Catalogue said at 4:40 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    "Which statistic would you rather use? 25% of pedophiles are women? Men still make up the other 75%."

    "The one that isn't a made up on the spot dangerous lie.

    "If you think that is better you are kidding yourself."

    Let me reiterate what you just said, so all can see – you just said that if I think that the more reliable figures are better than made up, dangerous lies that hide pedophiles and invalidate child sex abuse victims, I am wrong.

    As for the 25/75 split. The 25 is thought to be very underestimated, as female pedophilia is hidden by societal myths and denial, you see.

  10. 10 Jenna said at 10:38 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I think her inaccurate statistic was an honest mistake, with no intentions to demonize men or to hide female pedophiles. As a mother, it is her right to request a female caregiver for her daughter. That's it. It doesn't mean men shouldn't volunteer at the preschool. It doesn't mean that men shouldn't be allowed to assist children in the bathroom. It only means that in the case of her daughter, she wants a female caregiver. She didn't try to change the policy, the school chose to do that on their own.

    I've said this before, and I'll say it again: I work with seniors in an assisted living facility as a Home Health Aid. There are both men and women in my position. There are some women who prefer a female caregiver and we accommodate that preference. It's not a big deal. We have several men who are employed as Home Health Aides and we trade assignments based on our clients' preferences. Nobody is offended, and the hiring process is not affected. The men who work as Home Health Aides in the facility that I work go through the same training process and background checks that I do as a woman. They are highly qualified but understand that certain people have certain preferences. It's okay. We make it work.

    There is no thinking that men cannot do the job, they can and they do. However, we respect the rights and wishes of those we serve, and I think that's what this is all about.

    It's not to say that Dads cannot

  11. 11 Catalogue said at 6:06 am on October 23rd, 2011:

    I think were it an honest mistake we would be seeing some genuine remorse, instead we got abuse, a tantrum, victim playing and shape shifting. However, I do understand that people think that it's OK to speak about and treat men like that in this culture and how it can be a "honest mistake" because its seen as acceptable. A popular women's show recently presented the sexual torture and mutilation of a man as entertainment and the audience whooped and cheered, the women involved were unable to bring themselves to make a genuine apology either. Very few of the women here see a problem with telling those lies about men, and hiding female pedophiles from sight and are willing to attack people that do. The 25% is thought to be the tip of the ice berg, because we don't look for them and people like her and most of the women here like to pretend they don't really exist, which begs the questions why these women would want to keep female pedophilia hidden. Does "the sisterhood " come before protecting children from sexual abuse or do they believe that its ok when women do it? Is that why JMK thinks its ok to make sexual innuendos about children herself?
    http://imgur.com/qNBxR

    If JMK genuinely made an honest mistake she would make a genuine apology and write a follow up article setting the record straight. She has already been given sources to use and knows where to get more.

  12. 12 erinclot said at 8:58 am on October 23rd, 2011:

    I don't advocate hiding women pedophiles from sight. I advocate following your gut and parenting the way that makes you comfortable- if that means I step on someones toes, so be it.

    If this was only about the statistic, the public flogging would have stopped when she took down her post with the statistic 2 days ago. I think the initial defensiveness (even if she used bad words—-ooooh!) would be expected. She had no idea she was dealing with a group of woman haters who were out to make an example of this.

    Where is the study that thinks the 25% is the tip of the iceberg? Is it a study backed by men who are so distrusting of women that they schedule recorded follow-up phone calls after dates and keep journals just so they have proof they didn't rape someone?

    Frankly, she owes no one anything. If she were to write anything about it at this point it would be simply to pacify this angry group of men. It wouldn't be genuine and it wouldn't be a real win for you because you are way out of line on this. Your words aren't changing peoples minds on this, the only people listening to them are people who agreed with you in the first place.

  13. 13 Catalogue said at 10:13 am on October 23rd, 2011:

    "a group of woman haters". " Where is the study that thinks the 25% is the tip of the iceberg? Is it a study backed by men who are so distrusting of women that they schedule recorded follow-up phone calls after dates and keep journals just so they have proof they didn't rape someone? "

    You shouldn't be making false allegations about people and rape. Wasn't it this sort of rude and infantile approach to dialogue that escalated this situation in the first place?

    "If she were to write anything about it at this point it would be simply to pacify this angry group of men."

    I agree with you there, from what I've seen so far the likelihood of something genuine and honest being published is slim.

    Had you have asked me politely and in good faith for sources and I thought you were genuinely interested, I would have been happy to fetch you some original sources, you can have this news paper article instead.

    "It exists in spades. According to a 2004 U.S. Department of Education mass study of university students, 57% of students reporting child sexual abuse cited a male offender, and 42% reported a female offender. Interestingly, 65% of the survivors of female abuse who opened up to a therapist, doctor or other professional were not believed on their first disclosure. Overall, 86% of those who tried to tell anyone at all about their experience were not believed."
    http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2011/10/11/ba

  14. 14 erinclot said at 10:09 pm on October 20th, 2011:

    I agree, dads get the short end of the stick. Mostly undeserved. I think because women traditionally are in the nurturer position (and most pre-school teachers are women) this just stands out so much more. i wonder how many men would question a mom helping their son in the bathroom? They have the right to.

    In this case, I think it's her right as a parent to say "hey, what's the policy" and question it. The fact that the school came back and said you're right, we should look into this and get something in writing- obviously says something.

    The reaction (weeks after the original post!) is totally uncalled for. It's a smear campaign if I've ever seen one. No one should be shamed for speaking up.

  15. 15 SgtMom said at 2:04 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    No one should be shamed for being male, either.

  16. 16 phatPhuk said at 7:07 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    I doubt it whether it was that civil. From what I read, she threatened to remove her children, posted on her blog, got media attention and the school backed down; afraid of a public negative reaction.
    The blog can be downloaded here:
    http://www.mediafire.com/?jo643cjmhncl75i

    This is another example of sexist bigotry being dressed up 'for the sake of the children'.

  17. 17 erinclot said at 4:21 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Well, in the grand scheme of things, threatening to take her kids out of the school isn't a big deal. They could have let her. What does it matter to them? They probably have a wait list a mile long. It's not like she said if they didn't do what she wanted she was going to sue them. I've read the post- I read it the day it came out. I actually was in on discussions with her about this issue before it was written.

    How many kids do you have in pre-school and what are their bathroom policies?

  18. 18 phatPhuk said at 9:40 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    "Well, in the grand scheme of things, threatening to take her kids out of the school isn't a big deal."

    Its a huge deal, especially if you blog about it and other bigots read it and complain to the school in kind. If she did take her kids out of the school, she would have blogged the hell out of the issue, making problems for the school, cutting the waiting list to just a couple of meters.

    In the grand scheme of things, this is important. It highlights the ingrained misandry in society. She pushes her fear of men onto others. The school didn't even think this issue was important until Jenna complained.

    1 daughter. We ALL took our turn and I trusted all the caregivers and volunteers.

  19. 19 erinclot said at 9:10 am on October 23rd, 2011:

    Well, I guess in the "grand scheme of things" the school should have thought about this before then. Surely they have lawyers that look over their policies.

  20. 20 davenj said at 11:58 am on October 23rd, 2011:

    Not always. Many schools simply accept ingrained prejudices until they're legally forced to recognize them.

  21. 21 Jean Valjean said at 11:36 pm on October 20th, 2011:

    Let's be clear here. These weren't "random" men taking little girls to the potty. These were the fathers whose own children were part of this preschool co-op. According to the school everyone had a background check including the men.

    Jenna Myers Karvunidis was not singled out and bullied. She was taken to task for her false claims that 99% of child sexual abuse is committed by men. She was taken to task for using threats and innuendo to bully a preschool into changing its policies in a way that discriminates against men. She was the first to drop the F-bomb and the first to call those men who politely disagreed with her, and documented their positions, child molesters trying to get in her daughter's pants. Her foul mouth and continued false accusations show that she was the bully in this instance.

    No one has a right to accuse or cast dispersions on ALL men for the actions of a tiny few. Every dad has a right to participate in his children's lives and to be treated equally and fairly. There is nothing wrong with a man changing a diaper or wiping a bottom. Any assertion to the contrary is anti-male bigotry.

    Today it's men being banned from assisting with potty duty.
    Tomorrow it's men being banned from the school at any time.
    The day after that mom's will start complaining that men don't do their fair share of child care.

    Finally, there was no "smear" campaign. Jenna Myers Karvunidis admitted to being a sexist and a bigot.

    Now she has to live with that.

  22. 22 kate said at 12:32 am on October 21st, 2011:

    How can you say Jenna is not being bullied? I just finished reading the comments on AVFM and I saw plenty of name-calling and character bashing and tons of retarded assumptions being made. And I can only imagine the reddit comments. And now people have her home address. I happen to agree with the [non-Jenna bashing] comments I have read tonight, and I think there is something to this mens' rights movement, but I think you guys are going about it all wrong. You're not going to change anyone's mind immediately with one comment on a blog post. Society has put this idea of stranger danger in our minds and it's all we know for years and years until someone gently says "Hey, maybe it's not that bad for a dad to wipe your daughter's behind?" My immediate reaction to that question would be NO WAY IN HELL, but given time to reflect on it I don't see the problem.

  23. 23 Jean Valjean said at 10:07 am on October 21st, 2011:

    The original discussion didn't occur on AVfM. It occurred on Jenna Myers Karvunidis' blog. She used the foul language, she accused men who were being polite of wanting to get in her daughter's pants.

    What goes around comes around. Someone who bullies doesn't have a right to complain about being bullied. Further, Jenna Myers Karvunidis came on AVfM and started off by threatening to sue everyone. That's bullying but if things got too hot for her in there all she had to do was leave. Problem solved.

    As for our method of social change I think you are wrong. We didn't just go on one website and try to change the world with a few posts. We put it on many websites. Yesterday you didn't know we existed. Today you do. Some of you may find our movement useful especially if you are male. The rest have learned a lesson. The days of spreading hatred of men under the guise of feminism with impunity are over. Men aren't going to put up with it and if we see it we'll call you out on it.

  24. 24 kate said at 2:19 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Part of my post got cut off. What I had said at the end was that you guys gave Jenna two comments on her blog (within just a few minutes) before you called her a liar and sent her on the defense and then a shitstorm snowballed into her being "stalked". If I had been in Jenna's shoes, even if I saw the light and suddenly agreed with the points being made against me, no way in hell would I let you know that after being treated that way and no way would I back down.

    You're right that I didn't know about your website before yesterday, but the only thing that changes is that before I could respect the mens rights' movement whereas now I think MRAs are just as batshit as the feminists you hate.

  25. 25 erinclot said at 10:25 am on October 21st, 2011:

    I think this is key- our generation has had it drilled into our minds for years. We are on guard. I know there is a slim chance something will happen, BUT, if something *did* happen, and I could have prevented it by asking a simple question, I would feel horrible.

    Frankly, I care about my own family and their well-being. I don't care if someone feelings are hurt, it's nothing personal.

    (please don't use the word retarded on my blog)

  26. 26 phatPhuk said at 7:12 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    So if I was to say to you that I don't want to sit by a black man because 99% of violent crime crime is commited by blacks, you would agree? After all, you can never be sure….

  27. 27 phatPhuk said at 7:13 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    BTW, it still can happen if a woman takes your children to the toilet.

  28. 28 erinclot said at 8:08 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Yes, all men have the right to participate in their children's lives. I completely agree.

    My husband is an amazing Dad- AMAZING.

    But, on THIS issue- are you going to feel like you haven't participated fully because you didn't get to escort the little girls in the classroom to the bathroom? I doubt it. Actually, that is a job *I* would want nothing to do with.

    As a mom- it's her right to questions and voice concerns. I think any good parent would do the same. If as a man you have issues with women taking your son to the bathroom- I would hope to God you'd speak up!

    There is room for everyone to speak up when they are uncomfortable with something.

  29. 29 phatPhuk said at 7:19 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    The reason why these women feel uncomfortable is because of their sexism and bigotry. They have been taught to fear men and push this fear onto others. Also we have been taught to trust women, but again, if you read the posts, you will read about many men that have been abused-sexually or otherwise-by women.
    Women have been moaning about men not being more active in the lives and upbringing of their children for years.
    Irony?

  30. 30 GT_66 said at 10:57 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Not wanting to do it because it is a rather unpleasant task and being barred from doing it because you've been accused of being a pedophile are two different things.

  31. 31 Jenna said at 11:29 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    OMGWTF?! I don't care how qualified these volunteers are, it's the mother's right to request a female caregiver if that's what she sees fit. It doesn't mean these dad volunteers aren't fit for 'bathroom duty' it just means that this mother prefers a woman do the job for her particular child. SERIOUSLY! It's her right as a parent.

    I am a female home health aid in a long term care facility for seniors. We have both men and women in my position, providing all cares. There are some female clients who prefer a female caregiver (for bathroom assists, dressing, and showering) and we accommodate that preference. It's not a big deal. It doesn't mean men won't be hired in this position. It only means that we respect the rights of the people receiving the cares.

  32. 32 ReactionIsSad said at 11:53 pm on October 20th, 2011:

    About the reaction of this article from the reddit group: I am pretty sure this man is behind the reddit group, twitter group mensrightsblogs and this group- avoiceformen%com/activism-page/paul-elam/ Two things: 1. The fact that a lot of the men are seriously attacking her and not their group puts a hole in most of their declarations of the world being against men. 2. Thank God I have a little boy who will not grow up to learn their Principles and Goals one of which is: "For two generations masculinity and the male gender have been subject to an all-out attack covering every sphere, from the world of images and symbolism to that of common everyday existence, applied systematically and consistently in every manner and through all means of communication and cultural diffusion".

  33. 33 erinclot said at 8:14 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Yeah, I have boys too, my ultimate goal is that they grow up to be kind- I think that is a good goal. I'm sure there is a lot of hurt behind the woman bashing, but the anger- lashing out at any woman who dares to speak up in any way, seems to be misplaced.

  34. 34 phatPhuk said at 7:29 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    "'m sure there is a lot of hurt behind the woman bashing, but the anger- lashing out at any woman who dares to speak up in any way, seems to be misplaced."

    Spare me the amateur psycho-analysis. Speaking for myself, I am sick of being labeled a pedophile just because I'm a man and because I question a womans opinion. Again I refer you to the blog you can download at:
    http://www.mediafire.com/?jo643cjmhncl75i

    Jenna Myers Karvunidis openly admits she is a bigot and women like her have been getting away with this kind of sexism for quite a while. Men like myself are responding to it.
    "What if there was a gender war, and men turned up"

  35. 35 Catalogue said at 12:25 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    "lashing out at any woman who dares to speak up in any way, seems to be misplaced."

    That seems to be a very dishonest depiction of events, a woman published some outrageous lies about pedophilia, when she was confronted she became very aggressive and escalated the situation.

  36. 36 BeijaFlor said at 1:14 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    <quote> 2. Thank God I have a little boy who will not grow up to learn their Principles and Goals one of which is: "For two generations masculinity and the male gender have been subject to an all-out attack covering every sphere, from the world of images and symbolism to that of common everyday existence, applied systematically and consistently in every manner and through all means of communication and cultural diffusion".</quote>
    How do you plan to keep him "in the dark" about the all-out attack that men, masculinity, and the male gender have been suffering over the last two generations? Especially when he grows up to experience it for himself – in school, in the community, in the mainstream media, in double-standard bigoted laws that let a woman walk and be celebrated as a hero for actions that would have him jailed, scorned, and likely "introduced to a different kind of love" by his bigger meaner cell-mate?

    I would suggest that you might want to have your son grow up in a world where men, men such as he will be someday if he survives, won't be subject to these attacks and double standards and institutionalized scorn and violence.

  37. 37 rper1959 said at 12:08 am on October 21st, 2011:

    If Jenna Myers Karvunidis had 2 young sons rather than 2 young daughters would she be worried about another child's mother escorting them to the toilet? I suspect not. Did one of the fathers assist one of her daughters ? I don't think so. Nor do I think any father assisting in the class would want to, all men are only to well aware of the risk, having been being labelled as potential sex offenders all of our lives. Nope leave the toilet duty to the paid help.

    However the insinuation that all men are a potential danger is untrue, sexist and bigoted, and frankly I am sick to death of this sort of wholesale portrayal of men. Airlines in Australia will not seat an unaccompanied minor next to a man, because they consider the "risk" too great! Not that I wan't any snotty annoying kid sitting next to me, but I do take great offence at the suggestion that it could be dangerous sitting next to me on a plane!

  38. 38 erinclot said at 8:19 am on October 21st, 2011:

    I'm guessing every woman on those flights is shooting daggers into the heads of the single men who with empty seats next to them while they deal with a kid getting into their personal space. But I think this is apples and oranges.

    Sitting on a plane and taking someone to the bathroom are two different things. I think every mom has the right to question who is pulling down her kids pants- whether it's a man and a little girl or a woman and a little boy. I have boys in the same situation and yes, they have their diapers changed by women, but I still need to feel like I trust the people in the situation before I am comfortable with it.

    She has a right to be uncomfortable. She has a right to say and do what she feels right for her child. SHE is the mom. The school didn't have to do anything. They could have said good riddance and let her try to find a more suitable placement but after listening to her, they felt her concern was valid.

    I wonder if the Dads are planning a revolt as we speak?

  39. 39 phatPhuk said at 8:31 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    "But I think this is apples and oranges"

    No, its the same bigotry.

    It is the assumption that all men are pedophiles and women are flawless saints.

    "they have their diapers changed by women, but I still need to feel like I trust the people in the situation before I am comfortable with it."

    Do their diapers get changed by men you know?

    "She has a right to be uncomfortable…" Sounds to me like you are saying she has the right to be a bigot.

  40. 40 4freerangekids said at 1:51 am on October 21st, 2011:

    She IS a bigot, and the posters were right to call her on it. I was one of them, I certainly didn't make a deal about having her home address, that was over-the-top, but in terms of VERBALLY shredding her for what she wrote, it was totally justified.

  41. 41 erinclot said at 8:25 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Everyone has the right to their opinion, I think many lines were crossed- registering her on Register-Her? Over the top. Talking about where she lives, commenting that she is home alone- way out of bounds (thank you for acknowledging this btw). In the Reddit comments I didn't see many (any?) commentators saying that was crossing the lines. Not everyone can comment and then leave it alone, there is always the one person that might think it's a good idea to take things a step further.

    Then what?

    If you are trying to convince her that men are safe and she shouldn't feel otherwise, you really did a good job of proving HER point by making her feel unsafe. .

  42. 42 Jean Valjean said at 10:21 am on October 21st, 2011:

    "Not everyone can comment and then leave it alone, there is always the one person that might think it's a good idea to take things a step further. "

    No it's not "always". Sometimes people say stupid stuff when they are angry but the overwhelming majority of the time nothing comes of it.

    Everyone does have a right to an opinion. But if my opinion is that 99% of crack dealers are black people or that Hitler was right not only do people have a right to question my statistic but to call me a racist for my opinions. Women and particularly feminists like Jenna Myers Karvunidis have been passing off their "opinions" as facts for the last 40 years and saying all kinds of terrible things about men that are untrue.

    We are sick of it. It wasn't over the top. You just aren't used to anyone telling you it's not OK to be man-hating bigots.

    "If you are trying to convince her that men are safe and she shouldn't feel otherwise, you really did a good job of proving HER point by making her feel unsafe."

    Bigots will believe what they want to believe. But the next time she goes spreading lies about men she'll think twice.

  43. 43 !!SPARTA!! said at 1:53 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Actually, all of the "Attacks" she's "quoting" on her blog are complete fabrications
    the Reddit page has six(6) comments on it and NONE of them fit what she says
    There are no comments claiming to have her home address or know anything about where she lives
    she made it ALL up
    to make herself look like a victim so that all of the white knights and feminists drop what they're doing
    and come to her rescue

  44. 44 erinclot said at 8:27 am on October 21st, 2011:

    I call bullshit.

    I saw 200+ comments on Reddit yesterday and I also saw where someone said "I think she lives in Edgewater- that's just a few blocks from me".

    Out of bounds.

  45. 45 Jean Valjean said at 10:23 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Just because people wonder where she's from doesn't mean they are advocating or planning violence.

  46. 46 erinclot said at 11:40 am on October 21st, 2011:

    I think those of us who live our lives on the internet know that there is always the chance that *someone* will get a little overzealous and take matters into their own hands. It may not be condoned by the group, but there is always the chance. I'm sure it's quite funny to all of you that she was upset about this, but I don't find it amusing (and I can't say I really like her all that much- hell, this could be her big break into something bigger and better…it's tough to set yourself apart as a blogger!)

    But seriously, it wasn't cool. Disagree with her, sure- that is your right. Anything past that and it's out of control. What is the saying/ You catch more flies with honey than vinegar? How many people do you really think are going to agree with you over THIS?

  47. 47 theozoph said at 9:17 am on October 25th, 2011:

    On the internet, you are known as a concern troll. But I’ll address your concern anyway.

    So, you think the angry rhetoric is a bad tactic? That register-her.com is over the top?

    Yet, without it, you and most readers wouldn’t even know that we exist. We grabbed your attention, and now you know that there is a Men’s Rights Movement, and that we strongly disagree with any expression of sexism against men. And that we are willing to publicly shame you if you stoop to such shenanigans.

    Already, Mrs. Osbourne had to resign from The Talk after laughing at the mutilation of a man. Already, we have an (insincere, but it’s a start) apology from Mrs. Kurvanidis. This will grow, and soon the “business as usual” practice of blatant misandry will have to stop.

    We do not need you to agree with us, Erin. We just need you to be aware that such attitudes will no longer be tolerated. And that is a sweet perspective, indeed.

  48. 48 erinclot said at 7:32 am on October 26th, 2011:

    I thought trolls inhabited comment threads.

  49. 49 Paul Elam said at 3:53 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Would you oppose publicly divulging the addresses of neo-Nazi's if they were in your neighborhood? Some of them are "just moms" too.
    My recent post Speaking ill of the dead

  50. 50 andybob said at 2:02 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Ms Meyers Karvunidis openly stated that men should not be trusted around children and that 99% of rapists are men. When she was challenged for publicly parading her lies and bigotry she went into victim mode. Her actions resulted in the school creating a policy which not only discriminates against the fathers associated with this school, but making it clear that they are viewed as potential rapists and child molesters.

    Your pretence of being surprised that men are deeply offended by this is revealing. It demonstrates a deep-seated antipathy towards men and a total lack of concern for our fundamental civil rights. This is the reason why there is a Men's Rights Movement in the first place. At what point do you intend to alert your sons to the fact that you despise them and regard them as potential rapists?

  51. 51 erinclot said at 8:32 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Like I said above- my husband is amazing as a husband and father (and in general) we hope to raise our sons to be the same way. I don't think it needs to be women against men or men against women- and it isn't in our family. That is why I am blissfully unaware of the Men's Rights agenda. I'm not around a lot of people that are angry at men or angry at women just for the sake of being angry.

    And my husband happens to agree with this issue in her original post.

  52. 52 clot77 said at 9:36 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Hey AndyBob,
    Are you actually serious? My wife The SlackerMom and Jenna, are not man haters. They have a right to be comfortable with how their children are being cared for. Doesn't make them bigots, it just makes them concerned parents. As a man I'm not offended by this. I think every parent has the right to decide what they are comfortable with for their children.
    By the way,
    "Your pretence of being surprised that men are deeply offended by this is revealing. It demonstrates a deep-seated antipathy towards men and a total lack of concern for our fundamental civil rights. This is the reason why there is a Men's Rights Movement in the first place. At what point do you intend to alert your sons to the fact that you despise them and regard them as potential rapists? "

    Are you really serious with this? Personal attacks are a great way to prove you don't really have a leg to stand on.

  53. 53 Jean Valjean said at 10:28 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Jenna Myers Karvunidis didn't just say she was uncomfortable. She cited false statistics portraying men as child rapists and she bullied the school into changing an inclusive policy to one that excludes fathers and casts suspicion on them.

    Jenna Myers Karvunidis was not bullied. She bullied and we fought back. She made accusations that we were pedophiles and cursed us repeatedly.

    Finally, she admitted to being a bigot and a sexist. Maybe you think bigotry is a normal value where you come from but when you broadcast that bigotry out into the world sometimes it comes right back at you.

    If Jenna Myers Karvunidis doesn't like this then she should be more careful about spreading hatred and distrust of men.

  54. 54 clot77 said at 10:45 am on October 21st, 2011:

    If I recall the numbers correctly. She stated that 99% if rapists are men. She didn't say that 99% of men are rapists. Thats a pretty big difference. As a father, I would be uncomfortable changing the child of someone I didn't know. I'd expect the parents to feel the same way too. Maybe, I wasn't offended because I read the entire article and kept in mind the context of the situation but hey I'm entitled to my opinion as are you. What I don't appreciate are personal attacks specifically the comment about Slacker mom secretly despising her sons because they will be rapists.

    I don't think bigotry is normal and I don't appreciate you assuming so because I disagree with your stance. My great-grandfather had to flee Germany because of bigots that would have had him wear a gold star because of his differences. To call someone a bigot or sexist is incredibly misplaced and frankly offensive. But I guess i'm just a self-loathing male.

  55. 55 Gruelien said at 11:37 am on October 21st, 2011:

    The issue is her statistics are incorrect. When she was called on it she refused to listen and refused to change her position.

    The more innocuous issue is that why can't you be depended on do to the right thing for someone else's child? You mean well but society has placed a banner on men that say we are bad. Would you harm a child? Most likely not.

    In my case I was molested by a female caregiver. So her position is faulty to me and needs to be addressed. Women are capable of doing terrible things to children.

  56. 56 clot77 said at 3:08 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I agree with you that women are capable of doing terrible things to children as well. Honestly and, if it were a woman in Jenna's situation, I would feel the same way. For me the core issue, is a parent being able to decide what they are comfortable with for their children. I think that's something we all can agree on.

    I do disagree that society has placed a banner on men that says we are bad. As a man, I just don't feel that way. I don't really feel that my rights are in any sort of jeopardy. I don't feel like I have a bullseye on my back when I'm out in public. I respect other peoples rights and leave it at that. If I was the caregiver at her child's school, I wouldn't have been offended. Its a parents choice and I wouldn't feel its worth pressing the issue.

  57. 57 Lori said at 3:12 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    According to every source I can find, her statistics were actually correct. 99% of all rapes are committed by men. Can you please quote a source saying otherwise?

  58. 58 davenj said at 4:44 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    There are many sources.

    However, her issue was pedophilia and molestation, not rape, so you're not even looking at the correct statistical set. In that case, the estimates are 75/25 male/female split, but under-reporting could make the gap even smaller.

  59. 59 Andy said at 5:34 am on October 26th, 2011:

    I know this is an old topic, but I would just like to point out something to you, Lori. The statistics you found regarding rape are accurate based on the definition of rape. That is, a male forcefully inserting his penis into a womans vagina without consent. By definition, “men can’t be raped”. Anything otherwise is considered sexual assault. How’s that for a double standard.?

  60. 60 savvyshoppercentral said at 6:05 pm on October 27th, 2011:

    I do believe that refers to convictions. In many states & according to the FBI (until very recently), it was legally impossible for a man to be raped or for a woman to be a rapist.

    As for the issue of pedophilia & molestation, it is impossible to have a real estimate because so many people never report the crime & the police only seriously investigate a percentage of those. As people have started to realize that women really are capable of such a terrible act, more men/boys have started to come forward & more females have admitted to abuse by another woman.
    My recent post Valued Opinion Surveys

  61. 61 andybob said at 2:04 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Ms Karvunidis has had her bigotry questioned and she – and you – have responded with that curious victim-speak about 'being attacked' and 'harassed'. Being challenged is not the same as being attacked. The Men's Rights Movement is telling women everywhere that it is time to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Stop exploiting, scapegoating and marginalizing men. Stop throwing around false statistics designed to whip up rape hysteria (and lots of lovely tax dollars for BS programs to fight the phantom 'epidemic'.

    Most importantly, stop demonizing your sons, brothers, fathers, husbands and friends and start treating them with the respect and consideration that you expect for yourselves. Men's Rights Activists do not hate women. Many MRA's are women. We hate the bigotry and corruption that feminism uses to destroy the trust that should unite us, instead of alienating us even further. Men cannot sit back and hope people like Ms Karvunidis has some kind of epiphany. We need to act now, for everybody's sake.

  62. 62 nowar123 said at 8:33 am on October 21st, 2011:

    They're just a bunch of male supremacists who hate women. I've never seen such nasty, useless blogs as they have. It's insane how they claim they don't really hate women yet the blogs are full of "ALL women are evil" posts and comments. What a bunch of nutcases. Ignore. You can't reason with crazy.

  63. 63 Chelsea said at 10:21 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Exactly. How can you attempt to argue that women should treat men equally while making blanket statements about women in the same breath. What a joke.

  64. 64 GT_66 said at 11:10 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    The same way women demand equality while spreading their own special bigotry throughout the world.

  65. 65 Jean Valjean said at 10:32 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Some of us love women. Others not so much. Once again you are painting all men with the same brush.

    Men in the West have been on the receiving end of abuse from women for the last forty years. Many men are rightly pissed and a few of us hold women to a standard of accountability that women may not be capable of.

    Still, our anger is real because our struggle is real.

  66. 66 nowar123 said at 1:42 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Yeah, some of you may love women, but you aren't one of them. I saw your post at that nasty blog the other day (and got a screenshot of it for an upcoming project) where you stated that there were only 2 things you were sorry about concerning the mass murder Scott Dekrai committed – one was that men were killed, the other was that more women weren't killed and that their body parts not mutilated. Yeah. I know you feel that your feelings are justified because Sharon Osbourne along with her co-hosts and the couple hundred women in the room who may have been laughing with her (or at her) about the vicious act of cutting off a man's penis. I don't know a single one of the "millions" of women that you claimed also laughed at it. I doubt that millions of women even watch the show, I hadn't even heard of it until that incident myself. I'm guessing that that was a false, or made up, statistic that you spread about women. Either way, the MRM is a raging example of bigotry so it's laughable that you're goal is to "out" bigotry in others.

  67. 67 phatPhuk said at 7:30 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    "You can't reason with crazy"

    Hey, that's my line!

  68. 68 phatPhuk said at 7:41 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Hey, we're just responding to your decades of priviledge, and this priviledge is obvious in the posts made by Jenna which can be downloaded from:
    http://www.mediafire.com/?jo643cjmhncl75i

    She starts by being flippant and is completely unrepentant about using the 99% statistic and even brags about being sexist and thats why she was put on the register. Men are just calling her out.

  69. 69 Catalogue said at 12:40 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    "They're just a bunch of male supremacists who hate women. I've never seen such nasty, useless blogs as they have. It's insane how they claim they don't really hate women yet the blogs are full of "ALL women are evil" posts and comments. What a bunch of nutcases. Ignore. You can't reason with crazy."

    That's just a rather silly and unsubstantiated ad hominem based attack in lieu of a logical counter-argument.

    Clearly the people objecting to the lies about pedophilia are correct and the woman publishing the lies and heaping more lies on top with her stories of "harassment" and so on is the person that is out of bounds.

  70. 70 erinclot said at 8:40 am on October 21st, 2011:

    I think the fact that she didn't write an anonymous letter to the school and instead chose to talk directly to someone about her concerns and then blogged about it on a public forum (for which she once quoted getting 25,000+ hits a day) she has taken plenty of responsibility. She's owned her opinions from step one. If they school had disagreed (which they could have) she would have gone elsewhere.

    I don't demonize the men in my life. I don't think Jenna does either. I think she was being a mom, and sometimes it's hard to see that she's just trying to figure this all out. She puts up a nice snarky-tough facade that makes you think she's got it all under control, but she's just doing it one day at a time like the rest of us.

  71. 71 phatPhuk said at 7:43 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    "I don't demonize the men in my life. I don't think Jenna does either"

    No, she demonizes all men, regardless of their actions. THIS IS BIGOTRY.

  72. 72 Karl said at 9:53 pm on October 23rd, 2011:

    "I don't demonize the men in my life." – So you exempt them do you when you condone & support other's who do demonize men as a whole? Do you say "I agree with you, except for the men in my life who aren't like all other men"?

    In short – if you generalize men negatively, then you DO demonize those men in your life.
    My recent post New Zealand We won the World Cup!!!!!!!!

  73. 73 Chelsea said at 10:00 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Look, I'm a woman who DOES agree that it's a double-standard that men can't be allowed to take girls to the restroom but women should be allowed to take boys. I have a boy (and a girl) and that idea makes NO sense to me. I would much prefer another kid's dad take my son to the restroom if I'm not there than another child's mom and I think making a blanket statement that only women should take all kids to the restroom is sexist and misguided and I do hope our society can see that someday. I even argued with Jenna and some others about it…POLITELY. I stated my case and moved on. POLITELY. Without harassment. Or attacking.

    Now, all that being said, I was appalled and disgusted at the smear campaign that went on yesterday. What I read on reddit and AVFM was disgusting. It was an all-out war on a mom and housewife. Mentioning where she lives and registering her was WAAAAAAY crossing the line and you made yourselves and your cause look foolish. Threats are disgusting. You are doing a major disservice to what you're trying to accomplish. How can you not see that? While I could have agreed with you, in the end I found myself leaning more toward what I was orginally disagreeing with…because of you guys. Hope that makes you happy.

  74. 74 erinclot said at 10:30 am on October 21st, 2011:

    I think every parent has the right to their opinion on this matter (regardless where they stand) and if they have an issue, they need to speak up about it. It's called parenting. Jenna didn't take away someone right to question a woman taking a boy to the bathroom when she brought up her issue. If people don't speak up, that is on THEM.

  75. 75 phatPhuk said at 7:48 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    This is a response to her bigotry Chelsea. Her words are public record now. She openly claims to be sexist and a bigot and men called her out.

    When feminists called out misogony (real or otherwise) I have no doubt you backed it to the hilt. Now we are fighting misandry- and women are not used to it. Women expect us to sit back and take it 'like a man'.

    We are responding like men Chelsea. Finally.

  76. 76 Chelsea said at 2:06 pm on October 24th, 2011:

    If you are responding like "men," then you're giving men a bad name. The proper response would have been quite similar to the way in which I responded, actually, which was to politely remind them that women are capable of abuse, as well, so the statement that only women should be allowed to take children to the restroom is rather sexist. You didn't find me name-calling (Cunt, really? I saw that word used SO MANY TIMES – from the people shouting bigot at her – pot, meet kettle) threatening or refusing to accept an apology that she has now offered.

    You bring shame to your cause – one which I could honestly get behind but not with people like you at the wheel.

  77. 77 Gruelien said at 10:34 am on October 21st, 2011:

    "I'm not trying to criminalize these guys. I love men. I married one! As a
    matter of fact, I pick and choose when I'm a feminist because I'm not down
    with man-bashing. However, we don't live in a world where child-molesting
    is equal-opportunity . 99% of sexual predators are men, only 1% are
    women and girls are over twice as likely as boys to be sexually abused."

    This is the cause for most of the alarm. And as I posted on her site I was molested by a female babysitter somewhere in the age of 6-8. Other men who have been molested by women and are on AVFM came forward as well. Her facts were challenged and she refused to move from her position. Instead falling back on the fact her Mom was raped as a 5 year old girl. So we know she has other issues playing out as well.

    I have had life long consequences from my sexual abuse by a woman. My choices as a child were taken from me. So you can't tell me that exposing her lies is not a bad thing to do.

    Gru

  78. 78 erinclot said at 11:32 am on October 21st, 2011:

    So, do you think you would have appreciated your mother or father (or some adult in your life) stepping in and maybe being a little over-protective at some point? Maybe if someone ad done some questioning on your behalf you would not have to suffer from abuse.

  79. 79 Gruelien said at 11:45 am on October 21st, 2011:

    You think someone would fess up to something before hand? Oh ya this is what I'm going to do to your kid……..

    Especially since its propaganda to say women are more nurturing and cannot harm children? So I should be safe?

    The woman who created the blog cited false statistics and claimed 99% of sexual predators are men. That statement is a lie and needs to be rectified. My past reflects that her statement is a lie.

  80. 80 erinclot said at 2:08 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    No- which why as a parent, I need to make decisions that I think are necessary. If that makes someone else uncomfortable, steps on toes or hurts feelings- too bad! No one else is responsible for the well-being of my child.

  81. 81 Catalogue said at 12:50 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    You can make decisions that you think are necessary but that's a whole other story. The issue here is that this woman made up lies, that demonized men and and hid whats thought to be at the very least least 24% of pedophiles and their victims from view.

  82. 82 Jean Valjean said at 10:36 am on October 21st, 2011:

    "like the rest of us"? Not quite. I don't spread false statistics about women. I don't bully schools to change policies so they exclude women from participation. Who does that? I doubt you know anyone who does that.

    It's not about a woman trying to protect her children. It about a bigot spreading lies to get her way.

    What if Jenna Myers Karvunidis said she was uncomfortable with black mothers taking her daughter to the potty? It would be racist right? Then why isn't it just as bigoted when it's a man?

    The reason is because your own bigotry is so ingrained and has been unquestioned for so many decades that you can't even recognize it.

    Well now you all see. Today your eyes have been opened.

  83. 83 SgtMom said at 10:38 am on October 21st, 2011:

    Hey, gurl!

    Can I raise my hand if I have both a daugher AND a…..can I say the "S" word here?

    Can I raise my hand if I have both sister and…..a…can I use the "B" word here?

    Can I raise my hand if I have not only a Mother, but a….

    Can I raise my hand if my "partner" of 36 years is not female, but a……..

    Can I raise my hand if I find YOUR comments insulting, demeaning and degrading to every man I know and love?
    Can I raise my hand if I think YOUR comments are sick, twisted and …bigoted?

    Usually I find myself reading and enjoying FreeRangeKids as far as Mommy blogs go because BOTH my children's genders are treated with love and respect.

    You could take some decency lessons. Women like you make me SOOOO ashamed of my own gender.

  84. 84 erinclot said at 10:46 am on October 21st, 2011:

    I have sons and am married to a man- my husband is in total agreement on this issue.

    I'm sorry as a woman I make you ashamed to be a woman- I suppose if I threw my kids to the wolves I'd be easier to take.

  85. 85 SgtMom said at 1:59 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Do you even allow your husband around your children?

    After what you say he's admitted about himself, I don't blame you.

  86. 86 erinclot said at 2:09 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    ???

  87. 87 clot77 said at 2:59 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Excuse me? What I've admitted about myself? I agree with my wife that a parent should be able to decide what they are comfortable with in regards to their children. As a man, I wouldn't feel comfortable changing the child of someone I don't know. Not because I'm a pedophile but because there are boundaries that need to be respected. But I really appreciate someone who doesn't agree with my wife attacking me personally. I feel that is completely uncalled for. I have a difference of opinion and I have been respectful of your opinion and not attacked you personally, i would think common civility would dictate that you respond in kind.

  88. 88 phatPhuk said at 7:59 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    So you are comparing men to wolves?

    Speaking for myself, this is the kind of hatred and stereotyping that I am fighting against.

    In essence, what I really hate is how Jenna stereotyped all men- including the men at the school- as pedophiles, then blogged about it.
    http://www.lynleyhood.org/books/cityposs.html

    That is another example of the hysteria surrounding this issue, 'all for the sake of the children'

  89. 89 jada said at 12:16 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Wow. I think the registry and an all out attempt to smear her name on the internets is extreme and vexatious. I read most (I think) of the comments on the various sites that picked this story up, and I didn't see any overt threats to her safety. Not saying her safety isn't in jeopardy because it's always possible some nut job picks up someone else's rhetoric and info and runs with it. Witness The assassination attempt on Gabrielle Giffords. Honestly, if I were JMK I would be more upset by the fact that my name would be linked to bigotry and sexism on Google for the forseeable future.

    There are some lessons here though for all bloggers. First, JMK has been ridiculously casual and careless with her personal information and her family's safety. Posting under your full name, posting innumerable pictures of your children and family, where your husband works and that he's "never home", posting photos of your home and neighborhood was her first mistake. And it's a mistake so huge it makes me question her priorities and intelligence. She has given everyone a virtual map right to her doorstep. There are even very popular websites where someone could find out how much she paid for her house with just one bit of the info she has handed over on a silver platter. And before I get accused of blaming the victim or saying she asked for it, I absolutely am not because I don't think anyone deserves to have their privacy violated. But you have to question whether she had any privacy to begin – because of her own choices.

    JMK and I are also not friends and have had Internet conflicts in the past. I have even suggested to her that she needs to learn how to take disagreement and criticism better. The accusations she hurled my way for simply pointing out her lack of research on Christmas trees was staggearing and I was embarrassed for her. Not too long she wrote a post comparing pictures of her child with those of Caylee Anthony that was so tone deaf and inappropriate it made me sick to my stomach. I was (this close) to calling her out on it as politely as I could, but I knew I would be attacked as a jealous hater and told not to read her blog anymore, so I didn't say anything. Unfortunately for her, she stirred up some animosity with some people who aren't as willing as I to walk away from her inflammatory posts. Her mess with the MRA is really of her own making. If someone is going to write about sensitive and controversial subjects, you have to be prepared to handle the backlash. And when that backlash happens, responding with f-bombs, ad hominem attacks, self righteousness and name calling is just pouring gasoline on the fire.

    All that said, I wouldn't wish this fire storm on anyone. I hope she takes some time to evaluate her priorities, and weigh her need to (over share? Brag?) blog with her need to keep her family safe. I say this as someone who has been in the exact same position, and who has been just as guilty of the "crimes" I am now accusing JMK.

    As for the bathroom subject, I hope we can collectively get to the point where fathers who want to actively be involved in children's care, including yes, potty issues, is not looked upon as suspect but as admirable. Children benefit from having both female and male caregivers.

    I apologize in advance for any typos or disjointed thoughts. This comment window is not allowing me to go back and proof anything.

    Peace.

  90. 90 rper1959 said at 1:23 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Thanks Jada , you make a lot of sense!

  91. 91 erinclot said at 2:16 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    I think occupying space on the internet is different for everyone. Each person has their level of security they are comfortable with. Thanks to websites like Spokeo- even if you aren't putting it all out there, it's still pretty much out there.

  92. 92 phatPhuk said at 8:04 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Yes, good post.

    Just remember, we are not talking Xmas trees here. She used erroneous statistics and refused to back down. She paints all men as pedophiles and even bragged about being a bigot.

    Serious stuff.

  93. 93 hooha said at 3:11 pm on October 24th, 2011:

    Bravo!! Couldn't have said it better.

  94. 94 davenj said at 1:18 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    How is it fair or just to demonize men? The positions advocated here all come from a default "women are better caregivers than men" position.

    That's sexist.

    All of these people went through background checks. Why would a man be an inferior bathroom attendant?

    If it makes you uncomfortable you have the right to FEEL uncomfortable. However, you need to own where that discomfort comes from. In this case that discomfort comes from sexist assumptions about men.

    If she wrote her piece about ANY other group of people she'd be reviled, and rightfully so.

    Why not now? She said odious things, and even moreso, she acted on them. This woman convinced a preschool to enact sexist policies. That's wrong, and she deserves to be called for it.

  95. 95 erinclot said at 2:13 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Well, she didn't exaclty get them to enact sexist policies- considering they are merely looking into what other school policies are. Who knows- they may come back and say their current policy stands. It's yet to be decided.

    And I'll just say, as a Mom, if I'm uncomfortable with something that affects my kids- I'm not going to just stand by and be uncomfortable. If that means speaking up or removing them from the situation, that is what I'll do.

  96. 96 davenj said at 4:49 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    "And I'll just say, as a Mom, if I'm uncomfortable with something that affects my kids- I'm not going to just stand by and be uncomfortable. If that means speaking up or removing them from the situation, that is what I'll do."

    Okay. Nobody's saying you don't have the right to do so. You do not, however, have the right to claim that those actions don't derive from unfounded prejudices if they do.

    Some parents are uncomfortable with their children attended school with kids of other races, ethnicities, etc. They're entitled to that discomfort, and ought to be allowed to act on it, but that doesn't mean we can't rail against them for being racist.

    She encouraged questioning of a policy that is, by all accounts, not prejudiced because she is sexist, and admittedly so.

    Being a Mom isn't grounds for prejudice. It's as simple as that. She's raising her kids to be inherently more suspicious of one group than another based on a flawed understanding of the world. If this were about African Americans, rather than men, nobody would be rushing to defend this woman.

  97. 97 Jenna said at 4:57 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I don't believe she asked the preschool to change any policies for the entire school…just for her child. She has a right to do that. Nobody is saying that men are inferior bathroom attendants. I work with seniors in assisted living. There are both men and women in my position. We have all passed background checks and we have all gone through the proper training. There are some women who prefer female caregivers, and we accommodate that. Nobody that I work with is offended by this and it doesn't affect the hiring process.

  98. 98 SgtMom said at 2:10 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    I would like to direct all you GOOD mothers who are going to raise GOOD decent sons to read this article. It's written by a feminist about the GOOD decent son she raised – and what happens to GOOD decent sons in this society. She, too, got slammed by the men's group – but I think if yuo put your ego aside, you see it's her own son's cry of pain.:
    http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/05/women-lie-

  99. 99 Meredith said at 2:34 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    I think that her response, and the school's response (to put together a task force to see how other schools handle those situations) is reasonable. I'll also say that I've been required to do a number of child sex abuse prevention trainings for work, and all recommended that a person of the same gender take the child to the bathroom, even in extended family situations…

  100. 100 GT_66 said at 11:26 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Oh brother… Whatever sex abuse training you took, I hope you didn't pay for it because it's garbage.

  101. 101 Paul Elam said at 3:18 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    You are completely missing some very key information here. She did not challenge the school's policy to allow non employee and non family members to assist toddlers in bathroom activities, she only questioned it where it concerned the participation of men, and she used fabricated statistics – read bigoted lies – to make her case.

    Had she not made the issue sexual, I would have never initiated action against her.

    If you think this is an isolated and unimportant incident, consider that British Airways was recently sued by a male passenger because he was forced out of his reserved seat on a plane. Why? Because there was a boy traveling alone in the seat next to him, and BA policy prohibits minors from being seated next to MALES who are not their family or guardians, because of a perceived threat that they are subject to being molested on the plane. Qantas and Air New Zealand have similar policies.

    All of these situations, and countless others that I don't have time to list, reflect that even the most egregious of stereotypes against men are open season and fair game. It has been going on for 50 years and we have gone a long, long way down the rabbit hole with it. And yes, erinclot, it IS a feminist issue. It has been feminist ideologues that have fostered and pushed these stereotypes for the past half century.

    There is, as should be obvious now, a rising tide of men AND WOMEN, who are not willing to remain silent or cooperative any more.

    The point here, as harsh as it is, was not to convince anyone that she was wrong, but rather to punish her accordingly as an agent of bigotry and sexism. I am very comfortable that she now has the message, but will not hesitate to resume actions against her in the future.

    Socially acceptable misandry in this culture must come to an end.
    My recent post Speaking ill of the dead

  102. 102 erinclot said at 4:50 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I actually read the post the day it came out (and again before it was yanked, and the next post which she pulled as well), I'm not missing any information. I discussed this issue with her before she even wrote the post, so no, I don't think I missed any key points.

    I agree the British Airways situation is ridiculous, it's not the same as talking about the privacy of a 2 year old when she goes to the bathroom or her parents rights to teach her boundaries surrounding that (or them expecting a school to respect those as well).

    What if that post had been written by her husband?

  103. 103 GT_66 said at 10:52 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Then he'd be wrong too. And if he responded the way Jenna did, then we'd be right here. Don't be disingenuous by trying to foment the belief that if it were a man we wouldn't call him out.

  104. 104 Jenna said at 3:53 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    I work with senior citizens in an assisted living facility. There are certain residents who prefer a female caregiver. It's really not that big of a deal. The issue isn't about the male worker's rights, it's about the person's rights who are receiving the care.

  105. 105 phatPhuk said at 7:01 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    I work in an office. In a social setting, my boss said he hires men because they work harder, take less time off and cause less conflict in the workplace. Its got nothing to do with womens worker rights, its about the bosses right to hire the best employees.

  106. 106 erinclot said at 9:21 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    This isn't about hiring employees.

  107. 107 davenj said at 11:13 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    No, it's about allowing volunteers to volunteer. Not the same, yes, but very similar.

    If this school didn't allow African Americans to volunteer because they made some parents "uncomfortable" it would be wrong, no?

  108. 108 erinclot said at 11:43 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Well, no one is stopping them from volunteering. The issue wasn't "I don't want Dads in the classroom"- it's I don't want Dads taking my daughter to the bathroom. If serving juice and cookies and helping with finger painting isn't enough and you don't feel like you are getting the full experience until you have free reign to wipe every toddler ass in the room, well I think there is a bigger problem.

  109. 109 davenj said at 2:32 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Yeah, PREJUDICE.

    Telling men they're incapable of helping in a certain area of childcare because they're always going to be looked at as potential perverts is wrong.

    If women can help in the bathroom then men can do the same. I have no issue with women helping female youths and men helping male youths. The problem is the inherent prejudice about men being inferior caregivers based on pernicious myths.

    What you're saying is that women can volunteer more than men can. That's sexist. That's the bigger problem.

  110. 110 Jenna said at 11:32 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    You're way out of line…

  111. 111 davenj said at 11:55 am on October 23rd, 2011:

    No, I'm not. That JMK admitted her bigotry shows I'm right.

  112. 112 phatPhuk said at 9:57 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    You are missing the irony in a big way. Kinda sad I have to spell it out for you. The bosses opinion is based on sexist opinions of women i.e. bigotry.

    Correct me if I am wrong, but I'm getting the impression that you thing bigotry is OK in certain situations.

  113. 113 erinclot said at 9:08 am on October 23rd, 2011:

    The boss wanted to deny them a job. No one is denying them the right to volunteer. End of story.

  114. 114 davenj said at 11:57 am on October 23rd, 2011:

    Um, yeah, they are. Or, specifically, a certain aspect of the volunteering opportunity.

    Separating between first and second class volunteers is prejudice.

  115. 115 phatPhuk said at 5:06 pm on October 23rd, 2011:

    wrong again. The decisions were made based on bigotry, unfounded stereotypes. Change of policy at Jennas school was based on bigotry. end of story.

  116. 116 erinclot said at 5:29 pm on October 23rd, 2011:

    They didn't make a policy change. So, your point is moot.

  117. 117 phatPhuk said at 8:08 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    I work on a construction site, and we were having a few beers after work and the boss said he would never hire blacks or mexicans because they are lazy and he can't trust them. It has nothing to do with the fact that he is racist, its about his right to hire who he wants.

  118. 118 erinclot said at 9:24 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    This is a great point, people have a right (if they are able) to pick and choose who helps them when it comes to personal things like going to the bathroom or getting a pap smear. Maybe this is more about privacy and not so much safety. You'd have that expectation as an adult, why wouldn't you give that to a child?

  119. 119 davenj said at 11:16 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    This would all be fine, except there's no argument being made for male volunteers for the boys' bathroom.

    So in reality this isn't about privacy or preferences, but rather sexism. Otherwise why would JMK bring up false pedophilia statistics?

    If she had argued for female volunteers for the girls' bathroom and male volunteers for the boys' bathroom that would be quite different. Instead, she argued that men, no matter how many background checks they go through, are secretly potential pedophiles.

  120. 120 erinclot said at 11:45 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Jenna has a daughter. She is talking about her own child- she never asked to change the policy for everyone, JUST HER DAUGHTER. The school saw fit to do that on their own. Who knows- maybe that's what will come back? Boys with men, girls with women…we'll have to wait and see!

  121. 121 davenj said at 2:34 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Yeah, but she asked for a change BECAUSE SHE IS A BIGOT.

    The issue is HER BIGOTRY. It is important to invalidate this kind of thought. It implies that men are perverted beasts who can't be equal caregivers. That's an awful stereotype.

    Who would want their sons to grow up in a world where they're going to be looked at as creeps for being active caregivers for children?

  122. 122 phatPhuk said at 10:05 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Again, you seem to be condoning bigotry.

    "Maybe this is more about privacy and not so much safety"

    No, no, no. You are twisting the argument. It has never been about privacy. Download the post and read it again from:
    http://www.mediafire.com/?jo643cjmhncl75i

  123. 123 BeijaFlor said at 1:33 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    "I work with senior citizens in an assisted living facility. There are certain residents who prefer a female caregiver. It's really not that big of a deal. The issue isn't about the male worker's rights, it's about the person's rights who are receiving the care."

    I agree with you on that – "it's about the person's rights who are receiving the care."

    But when somebody gets up on a high horse, and bloviates an all-too-obvious screed of demonization against the very idea of a male caregiver … well, then it does impact male workers' rights, indeed all males' rights.

  124. 124 erinclot said at 2:11 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Well, it's 2011 and everyone and their mother has a blog- so to suggest that people don't use those to speak up is absurd. If the pre-school had a thoroughly researched policy in line with other schools/ pre-schools to begin with, there would never have been a blog post. If the department of justice had never published their 1997 findings to the internet they never would have come up on a google search an ended up in her post.

  125. 125 scott2508 said at 10:37 am on October 28th, 2011:

    there is a difference between choice and framing the choice round a wrong and damaging lie to diminish the worth of a gender, thats where bigotry and choice become seperate instance.

  126. 126 Megan said at 4:16 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Unless they are cleared completely, I would not feel comfortable with a man helping my daughter, or son for that matter. At our school, all parents must be cleared to be able to volunteer at a school. Go Jenna. (Sugarmomma Megan)

  127. 127 Jean Valjean said at 4:48 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    They have been cleared Megan. I don't know what you mean by "completely" but they are given a background check which includes criminal records. I consider that more than enough to assuage any lingering apprehension.

  128. 128 davenj said at 4:51 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    These people were cleared completely. Both the female volunteers and the male ones.

    Jenna's uncomfortable with men who have been cleared.

    So no, don't "Go Jenna". She admitted to being sexist. That's not okay.

  129. 129 Danny Woodhead said at 2:41 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    If you are uncomfortable with a man helping your daughter or son but not uncomfortable with a woman helping your son or daughter, you're sexist.

  130. 130 Jean Valjean said at 4:47 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    "It was an all-out war on a mom and housewife."

    To some of you she is a mom and a housewife but before that she is a college educated feminist who is in the public eye as a blogger.

    She's a grown person who has made mistakes. She is not a victim and she is not victim worthy.

  131. 131 SgtMom said at 9:03 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    She's a bid, bad Feminist…until she's a helpless widdle gurl being picked on for her hate and bigotry.

  132. 132 erinclot said at 9:31 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Isn't feminism the radical notion that women are human beings? You know, the whole right to vote and own property thing? We're not all butch man-haters.

  133. 133 davenj said at 11:19 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    I agree. Not all feminists harbor misandry.

    She does, though. She even admits it. And if other feminists who don't hate men back up her misandry they only harm the name of the movement they belong to by failing to call people on their ADMITTED sexism.

    She ADMITTED she was a bigot. I don't even get how it's being debated here. She admitted it!

  134. 134 Karl said at 8:22 pm on October 23rd, 2011:

    It's closer to the radical notion that men are not people (as demonstrated by JMK's blog in which she assumes all men are a potential threat to children).

    Big difference. IF feminism promoted women as equals, I'd be all ok with it – but it doesn't. Instead, it promotes that women are superior to men and portrays men as abusers & rapists – just like JMK did.
    http://antimisandry.com
    My recent post New Zealand We won the World Cup!!!!!!!!

  135. 135 E. Steven Berkimer said at 4:47 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    What's really funny…. and sad, is that she is the one who has put her information out on linkdin and several other sites, that list her address. I am the person who initially stated I knew her address. But the funny thing is, at no time, was any kind of threat ever made. This is another one of her lies. All we are doing now is making sure that any group she is on the board of, such as the "Friends of Edgewater Park", are well aware of her bigotry and sexism.

    And the funniest part is, at no point in time have any of the people (notice that it is both men AND women) published her address.

  136. 136 Mama to a Boy said at 12:53 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    You honestly believe that telling a person "I know where you live" no matter how nicely you phrased it should not be taken as a threat? I read a lot of the posts on the "Men" sites and I saw many that were threating. One said something about "using our fists" like men were meant to do. Others boasted about her not being able to get a job because of it. Several threatened to come to her home. Then you wonder why women have an ingrained fear of men. Why Jenna is rightfully afraid.

    She wasn't nicely asked to revise her stat's. She was attacked and berated because she didn’t feel safe letting men she didn’t know take her daughter to the bathroom. If she had a son and stated that she only wanted a male teacher to attend to him you guys wouldn’t have batted an eye. Men’s groups came in droves to tell her that she was a sexist bigot and yes she dug in and tried to validate her feelings. While some of you focused on the numbers she quoted it was clear that the main reason for the attacks was her choice to not have any man she didn’t know touch her daughter’s privates.

  137. 137 Mama to a Boy said at 12:54 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    If you had started out with a nice post focused only on the 99% claim and asked her to change it maybe she would have. But she was backed onto a corner with dozens of men trying to convince her that she needed to let however many men the school decided were suitable to wipe the parts of a little girl who's parents are trying to teach her not to let anyone touch, have access to her daughter to prove to you that she is not a bigot. When she responded with a “hell no” to the only part she cared about men vilified her. Way to get other women on board with your cause. I’m going to say it. What was done to Jenna was emotional rape. But if you are proud of yourself that’s all that counts.

  138. 138 Qtpies7 said at 10:10 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    If you tell someone whom you vehemently disagree with that you "know her address" you ARE threatening her. In a court of law, it would definitely get a restraining order slapped on you. If that is grounds for a restraining order, I'm pretty sure that does make her a victim of YOU. It seems such a weird thing for you to do since you are not even involved in her school or with her daughter. I have 4 brothers, 4 sons, a husband, a dad and 3 step-dads. Dude, guys who are not in my family are not taking my kids to the bathroom. Sorry. I am not even keen on women doing it. It isn't because 99% of MEN are rapists or molesters, it is because it is a higher percent of men than women. It is not likely that you will come across a man who is a predator, but you DO hear about it happening in the schools. And I personally know a man, a very close friend of mine's husband, who worked in the school, passed a background check, and ended up being a molester.
    I don't put my young kids in school, I home school. So it isn't a fight I have to worry about. And the one time that my kids are with a man or woman in the bathroom is at church where we have them escorted by a security guard. Yes, we have a guard escorting WOMEN taking our kids to the bathrooms. My kids' safety is way more important than anyone's ego. And if you child was molested by ANYONE, you would see things differently. It really is not safe out there anymore, and your child's safety is YOUR job over any one else's ego.
    My recent post Beautiful Feet!

  139. 139 Megan said at 6:10 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    By completely i meant background check, finger printed, etc. If that was done then u see no problem with a male in the classroom but honestly, my husband wouldn’t want to help other children in the bathroom. He is a nurse and often female patients prefer a male. He doesn’t take it personally at all. I don’t let my children get rides from other people at daycare for field trips, that doesn’t mean I am prejudiced against drivers. I am just cautious of who is around my child, male or female.

  140. 140 davenj said at 6:21 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    They were. Background checks and fingerprints. Men and women.

    Whether or not YOUR husband wants to help in the bathroom isn't the issue. The problem is that this woman is categorically refusing to allow men, background checks and all, to help with the bathroom duty by producing false statistics about pedophilia.

    "All men are potential pedophiles" is not a valid reason to stop men from helping with this part of the pre-school.

    Being cautious for good reasons is perfectly fine. It's one thing to not want your child to have anyone but you be their bathroom attendant. It's quite another to say "women are fine, but men aren't". That's sexist.

    If you refused to let your children get a ride with women because you believed women are bad drivers that would be wrong, because it's "caution" rooted in sexism, which is totally different.

    This woman admitted that her rationale was sexist. Even she doesn't dispute this. That's why this post's title makes no sense. The woman agrees that she's a bigot.

  141. 141 Catalogue said at 7:36 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Well this blog post is misleading.

    The issue the men's movement took was the made up stat. – 99% of pedophiles are men. The truth is that its thought at this time that 25% of pedophiles are female but that its a very underestimated number for various reasons, one of those being ignorant prejudice like that of Jenna Myers Karvunidis.

  142. 142 erinclot said at 9:36 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Well then I think the Men's Rights Movement needs to take issue with the institution that did the study and published those findings to begin with. It's not Jenna's fault she took issue with a school policy, wrote a blog post and did a Google search for a statistic to beef up her argument. Put your efforts into getting rid of *that* (The internet is FOREVER.)

    And in the words of my husband: Men have *ALL* the rights! Who is being persecuted?

  143. 143 davenj said at 11:25 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    They do.

    The issue is that she's wrong, and when initially informed of her wrongness she denied it. She still hasn't acknowledged that she was actually wrong.

    Also, the 99% statistic was manufactured disingenuously. If she was TRULY concerned about protecting her kids, instead of focusing on verifying an inaccurate stereotype she held, she would have found enough evidence in a simple Google search to realize her error.

    Men do not have *ALL* the rights. Rather, we have specific social benefits and detriments deriving from our maleness. A male soldier drafted into war has few rights. Male prisoners (who routinely serve more prison time than women for the same offenses) have almost no rights. And in the case of childcare men are routinely discriminated against because of the belief that women are the default caregivers, which impacts everything from how much time men get to spend with their children to how we view men who volunteer for bathroom duty.

    These are problems. Men are discriminated against in regard to childcare, and it's worth doing something to change that. There are a lot of dads out there who want to spend time with their kids and raise them well, or to work in childcare and help others' kids.

    This discrimination is particularly harmful to gay male couples, as they are seen as unfit parents due to the lack of a "mother". Tell them that they have *ALL* the rights. I dare you.

  144. 144 Catalogue said at 2:41 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I'm not sure what your husband means by that.

    Does he believe that men have rights that women don't in the west? This is not the case. Does he believe that women have no rights while men have *ALL* the rights? This is not the case either.

    As for manufactured stats. We do take issue with the political groups and non-profits that manufacture and misrepresent stats about abuse. This woman didn't as far as I know publish her source, and no reputable institution uses that figure. As it stands, its thought that 25% of pedophiles are women and that number is believed to be very underestimated.

  145. 145 Jenna said at 4:59 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Well in that case, it changes everything!

  146. 146 Catalogue said at 6:20 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Less of the lies and sarcasm. It changes irresponsible lies for the facts that we have on the ground so far, not "everything".

  147. 147 Candida said at 9:26 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    In our district employees are not allowed to assist students of the opposite sex in the bathroom. Simple as that. As it should be!
    My recent post check-in

  148. 148 erinclot said at 9:40 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    I think most schools and preschools have a similar (or variation) of this policy- it's common sense.

  149. 149 MinnesotaJoY said at 9:44 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    WOW. Concern trolls are out in force tonight eh? Lots of anonymous mean-spirited words pointing fingers and forgetting the basic point of it all, which is a desire to keep our babies safe from harm.

    Bottom line is this: I will not give permission to any PERSON I don't know to take my child to the restroom. The end.

    My recent post 16 Years Ago Today

  150. 150 Gruelien said at 9:54 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    The part alone apart who takes your kid to the potty is fine. I have no issues with it. But to say men are bad and only women are good is the issue that is making all the stink. Separate the two issues. The blogger lied about statistics and was called on it. No one has ever questioned trying to keep her children safe. Its just that they may not be safe with women. If you have read my posts you would know I was molested by a female caregiver somewhere ages 6-8. So women are just as capable of harming a child. That is a truth. If I'm a troll for that then so be it.

  151. 151 erinclot said at 9:47 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    So, if the "current" thought is that women make up 25% of child abusers/ molesters etc- men still outnumber them 3-1. 3 to 1! So, while the 99% may be off base. I'm still not convinced that you gain anything with those statistics. And she didn't "lie" about statistics- she did a google search and that's what came up. Go after the institution that published it.

    I understand that women are capable of harming kids. I understand that this is a double standard. I think it's horrible if abuse happens to ANYONE by ANYONE. I really cannot imagine what it must be like to deal with that for a lifetime. I think as mothers it's our job to protect our kids in any way we see fit. If Jenna thinks that *this* might make the lines less blurry as to who is Ok and not OK, I think it's perfectly acceptable. This wasn't about her thinking the dads were going to cop a feel in the kiddie bathroom- this was about creating boundaries with a 2 year old.

  152. 152 MinnesotaJoY said at 10:31 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    I did not point my reply specifically at you Gruelien so don't take it personally. I too was abused by a person in a position of trust. I also have issues with Erin being attacked for expressing HER opinion about the issue. Again, not directed at you but at the people on here who are hiding behind the anonymity of the internet to be abusive.

    My own comment, which was not out of line in my opinion, got a thumbs down. What did I say that was so offensive? Nothing. But someone felt the need to 'minus one' it just because I was pointing out the mean-spirited nature of a lot of these comments. Sad…and really the issue yes? People are not able to express thoughts or feelings without being attacked. THAT is the issue.
    My recent post 16 Years Ago Today

  153. 153 davenj said at 11:15 pm on October 21st, 2011:

    Nobody's forgetting the basic point. You're misrepresenting the basic point.

    Her issue was with men in the restroom, not women. That's the issue.

  154. 154 erinclot said at 9:50 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Her issue was creating boundaries for her daughter. If she didn't have the statistic would you be all over this then? Is it acceptable to you that her daughter have a modicum of privacy or should she be taught that anyone who is a familiar face is A-OK? Adults are allowed to make these decisions every day (I like female doctors, my husband likes male doctors, we chose male doctors for our sons), why is this any different?

  155. 155 davenj said at 11:49 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Her issue wasn't boundaries. It was boundaries AND the notion that all men are potential pedophiles.

    I think she has every right to want to set up consistent, respectable boundaries for her child.

    I don't think she should teach her kid to look at men as potential pedophiles and women as just fine, and for a few reasons.

    a. It's sexist.

    b. It's dangerous. Many women commit sexual abuse by exploiting the stereotype that women are never pedophiles.

    Your argument is not her argument. It's perfectly valid to want male attendants for the boys' room and female attendants for the girls' room. It's perfectly valid to only want teachers on bathroom duty. It's perfectly valid to only want family members of your child on bathroom duty.

    It is not okay, though, to perpetuate sexist myths about men who work in childcare or help in the childcare of their kids.

    That's why this is different. She wasn't just advocating for boundaries. She also called a bunch of men potential pedophiles based solely on their gender.

    Had she called her daughter's classmates a bunch of potential thieves, and advised her daughter not to share her toys with them, because they were African Americans, that would be wrong, no?

    Now, limiting sharing of personal toys at a pre-school is a good idea for a lot of reasons. However, doing it because you think the African Americans are going to steal those toys is not a good reason.

    The same is true here. The pre-school's bathroom policy is bad, but not for the reason that she offered.

  156. 156 Jenna said at 5:03 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I believe her issue was with men helping HER child in the bathroom. Not any child.

  157. 157 davenj said at 8:47 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    No. If that was the case she would not have paraded a false statistic or admitted to being a bigot in her post.

  158. 158 Janine Fowler said at 12:33 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    I personally choose to always have a woman gynecologist and I don't think that makes me a bigot. Same sorta thing IMO.

  159. 159 Catalogue said at 7:30 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    But if you made things up about male gynecologists and published them to support your decision, you would be a bigot.

    eg. making the unfounded claim that 99% of incompetent gynecologists are male, would be bigoted.

  160. 160 erinclot said at 9:54 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Well, there's that pesky thing about "making up" statistics… .http://www.rapetraumaservices.org/rape-sexual-assault.html Maybe you need to go after the Department of Justice on that one, since they started the lies and all.

  161. 161 davenj said at 11:29 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    They didn't start them, they just reinforced them.

    However, anyone with an ounce of critical reasoning can find more than one source for an issue this important, especially when the initial claim (99%) is so significant.

    That she did not shows that she was looking for something to reinforce her bigotry, not an actual answer to the question of child sexual abuse.

  162. 162 Catalogue said at 2:05 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    erinclot

    OK, like the blogger in question you chose to respond with aggression.

    That seems to be a dead link and going by the its name is not a government source as you claims it is. As well as that DOJ stats tell you how many pedophiles are charged, not how many exist.
    As female pedophiles are largely invisible because of myths, bigotry and prejudice, and often their victims 'are not believed. they tend not to be arrested all that often. In reality, its thought that 25% of pedophiles are women and that that number is greatly underestimated.

    Have a read of this.
    http://www.kidscape.org.uk/assets/downloads/Femal

  163. 163 SgtMom said at 9:09 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    We have airlines making if official policy to never seat unacompanied children next to men on airplanes.

    We have Mad cow moms running grandfathers out of parks in Pocatello for the CRIME of having a camera -and photographing his own grandchild.

    This is a FINE world you Motherhood Bullies are creating for your sons.

    How do you look your sons in the face?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6ne2GAE_aU&fe

  164. 164 erinclot said at 9:58 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Why are you so angry?

  165. 165 davenj said at 11:31 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Prejudice has a way of making people angry.

  166. 166 SgtMom said at 8:10 pm on October 24th, 2011:

    I. Have. A. Son.

    He is NOT a pedophile. He is NOT a danger to society. He is NOT your personal punching bag LADIES.

    IF you have a son – one day you will find out EXACTLY what I'm angry about.

  167. 167 erinclot said at 7:32 am on October 26th, 2011:

    I have 3 sons- they are no ones punching bags. I hope they grow up never having the anger you have at the world at large- it is a waste of time and energy.

  168. 168 Katie said at 9:39 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    This one is hard. I think if they're going to make rules that men can't take girls to the bathroom then women can't take boys. Same sex is totally understandable, but it has to be equal on both sides

  169. 169 erinclot said at 10:02 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    I think that is totally valid. There are different policy variations- rule of 3's, bathroom accessible from classroom, boys with boys, girls with girls etc. But there needs to be *something*.

  170. 170 davenj said at 11:38 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Absolutely. Boys with boys, girls with girls is a perfectly good policy. It also teaches kids what they're likely to face in the future with gendered restrooms. It allows volunteers to participate on both sides, and it's not based on irrational prejudice.

  171. 171 Michele said at 9:58 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    I teach preschool. We have volunteers. Volunteers DO NOT help children in the bathroom!! Why would they want to and who wants the "what ifs" of that hanging over the head. Shame on the preschool for even letting this be an issue. Three Cheers for the parent for advocating for their child! No matter what gender the volunteer is, they don't belong in the bathroom with any child but their own.

  172. 172 erinclot said at 10:03 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    I agree- as a parent volunteer- even if you've had a background check, what would you do if a child said something happened? Wouldn't that be a HUGE liability for the school? I would think- for a man or a woman volunteer.

  173. 173 davenj said at 11:39 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    I agree that it's a bad policy, but depending on the number of kids it might exist because of a lack of personnel. That can happen in city schools. It's unfortunate if that's the case, though.

  174. 174 GT_66 said at 10:41 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    And if that was what Jenna was doing, everyone would ave agreed. Unfortunately, she was only able to accomplish 50% of that goal be vilifying the men while giving the female volunteers a pass. And what sort of daycare has such poorly thought out policies in the first place?

  175. 175 Bianca Roman said at 10:00 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    I don't have time to read her post right this second, but I will. But I am a mom of a 2 year old son, and I still wouldn't be ok with this. I mean, yes dad's do change their own children's diapers, but it doesn't seem right nor does it fit right for a male volunteer to help out with bathroom duty. It's not being sexiest, it's being a CONCERNED mother, you know? It's not fair that we get called every name in the book because we're trying to prevent our kids from having something terrible happen (yes, it could happen even with a women volunteer) but it's scary and we have the right as mothers and providers to voice our concerns/fears!

  176. 176 davenj said at 11:35 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    You have a right to your concerns and fears.

    You have a right to voice them.

    However, your concerns and fears ARE SEXIST. If you didn't feel comfortable with an African American volunteer your concerns would be racist.

    If you believe that a man who passed a background check and is a father of a child at the same pre-school is a surreptitious pedophile based solely on his gender that is SEXIST.

    That it doesn't "seem right" is because you have been conditioned to be prejudiced. That isn't right, and it does create certain feelings. You have the right to own those feelings and to express them, but those feelings are PREJUDICED.

    Do not expect others to tolerate your prejudice. I get that it's tough. Dealing with generations of harmful culture is tough for everyone. Still, it's up to all of us to overcome our prejudices, rather than succumb to them.

  177. 177 GT_66 said at 10:43 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Bianca, why aren't you concerned about females even when (non-ridiculous) statistics show women to be almost as likely to sexually abuse children and *more* likely to physically abuse children? I'll give you an answer: it isn't legitimate motherly concern, it is illegitimate female bigotry.

  178. 178 Becky W said at 10:13 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    I don't feel the 'attack' on her is needed whatsoever, and I would think the school would have to have some type of "check" on volunteers; but I could be wrong.
    I am offended in the respect that my husband is a daycare provider. He watches children (boys & girls) from ages 6 weeks to 12 years old. He is asked to help potty train those that need it. Since he is a man, should he not be allowed to be a daycare provider? Just because a man is a daycare provider, volunteer at a school or a nurse even-doesn't make him someone that would abuse a child. If that is the case then maybe women shouldn't be able to help boys in the bathroom.
    Again I don't agree with the registry etc. and the over the top hate to this woman…but I think we need to think before we go all out again men that are willing to help out with roles women do also.
    Maybe what should happen is women & men that want to volunteer in a classroom that has children that need help in that area have a background check-maybe that is where the whole situation would have halted.
    My recent post Going Postal

  179. 179 erinclot said at 10:23 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    Hi Becky! Completely valid points- and to clarify, all the volunteers have had background checks. Her concern was this- if there is a rotating cast of men taking her to the bathroom (those may be her exact words actually) how does she explain to her daughter who is 2 who is OK and who is *not* OK to be taking down her pants. there was no policy, ther was no designated person each day, it was just whomever happened to be there at the time. she's not talking about 1 person or even 2 or 3, she's talking about an entire classroom of kids who parents will all be volunteering at any time. So it's a little different than just having a male teacher or a male aide- it's someone new every day. Not that she thought *they* would be doing something to her daughter, but by having so many people it would be difficult for a toddler to discriminate if something was happening. Most schools and pre-schools have a policy.

  180. 180 Mama to a Boy said at 4:27 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    In your husband's case the parents met him and choose him to care for their children. Know that he will be attending to bathroom duties. They feel they can trust him. I would trust my husband 100%. But, men I don't know, no way. The fact is no matter how the men's groups choose to twist the facts the risk of your child being exposed to a male child molester is much higher than them being exposed to a female one. In some cases we as mothers have to play the odds. I don't want any man helping my son. (Not his step-brother, not my father who raised 6 kids, not my brothers, and certainly not a person I have never met.) But then I don't want most women helping him either. It is sad that innocent men have to pay the price because perverts tend to seek out jobs and activities that put them in contact with children. But we have a responsiblity to insure that the access to our children is limited.

  181. 181 Mama to a Boy said at 4:28 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I don't believe most normal healthy men are going to feel slighted because there is a rule in place that they can't take other people's little girls to the bathroom, if they aren't comfortable with it. I find a man insisting that you let him have that right or you are a bigot suspect. Would I put my son in a daycare with a man in charge? I don't know, but then I would feel anxious putting him in one with a woman in charge anyway. Sadly I've lived long enough to see that you can't always tell who the bad guy is. That you can miss the signs. I have to live with the guilt that a child who is very close to my heart was sexually abused for years and I missed it.

  182. 182 Mama to a boy said at 4:36 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I'd rather a 100 people feel like I'm overprotective or even a bigot than risk my son suffering the same fate. I taught him at a young age that no one, not even mama and daddy are allowed to touch your privates without your permission. If strangers at school (Men or women) are supposed to help him daily how do I expect him to understand why that is OK and others aren't. How am I supposed to get him to understand that he has the right to say no or tell me if if he's not comfortable when someone he's supposed to listen to trys to touch him the bad way? When it's his teacher, coach, babysitter, Suzzie's daddy, a priest or clergyman or woman? We all have the right and the duty to decide who we will risk our child with and we don't deserve to be demonized for those choices. Rather it's 99% or 75% of child molesters who are men the risk is still much higher. It's a fact and it doesn't make me a bigot to realize that. But maybe I should take a walk thru the bad part of town every night to prove that I don't believe that everyone who lives there is a criminal?

  183. 183 lifewithlevi said at 11:02 am on October 22nd, 2011:

    I can definitely see both sides of the parenting issue at hand. Dads definitely get the crap end of things. Personally, I think that volunteers shouldn't handle bathroom duty at all – whether they're men or women. As a parent, that allows me to teach my child that certain authority figures (teachers) are able to assist them in certain capacities (using the bathroom) and the related boundaries (while at school, etc…)

    However, that being said, if my child is potty training and someone is babysitting at their house, I can only assume the babysitting parent would help my child if assistance was required. I'm sure they don't particularly want to help wipe my kid's ass, but the fact that they're willing to help would be appreciated.

    The difference for me in the two situations is that volunteer classroom helpers, whether background checked or not, are not necessarily adults I know or trust personally.
    My recent post Already Planning For Valentine&rsquo;s Day

  184. 184 Sadie said at 12:05 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    He was a dad, right? So it wasn't just some random guy off the street.

    She's okay with women helping, but not men? You know women molest children, too, right?

    Is she also okay with women helping with boys? I mean… this is a bit crazy….

    Sexual discrimination is NOT okay.

    P.S. This is coming from a certified man hating lesbian, so you know if I'm on the side of the man it's a BIG deal!
    My recent post Dessert Love: S’mores

  185. 185 Not a man hater! said at 5:05 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Kids are molested by the dad's of their friends all the time. So being a dad doesn't keep them safe. My neice was molested by her step-dad starting when she was 6. He was a super nice guy just ask anyone. When she started getting too old and he started looking at his own DD's she finally spoke up. KIds don't always do that. I know another girl who was molested by her PE teacher at school. She was 7. Years later when another girl had the strength to report it everyone assumed the girl was lying. They got petitions together and had parents, teacher and students sign them saying what a great guy "Coach" was. She is ashamed of herself today. She not only never told anyone because she was ashamed and afraid, she signed the petition.

  186. 186 Not a man hater said at 5:06 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Yes we know women molest children too, but for every women who does it there are about 3 men. (As best I can tell but I've found a lot of data that suggest that the % of men is even higher.) It also seems that women are more likely to molest teens than very young children and that many of the ones who molest younger children are part of a male/female team. In a perfect world there would be no abuse. But in this world if forced to do it, I'd choose a women over a man to take my son to the potty. It is not sexual discrimination it's risk management.

  187. 187 Jenna said at 5:12 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Sexual discrimination? What?! The lady just asked that a female take her daughter to the bathroom. Does she not have that right?

    And why the hell does you being a lesbian give any more weight to your opinion?

  188. 188 erinclot said at 5:27 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Exactly.

  189. 189 davenj said at 8:49 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    No, she asked for a female caretaker because men are all suspected pedophiles.

    That's discriminatory.

    She did not advocate men helping boys and women helping girls. She advocated men being treated as sexual predators based solely on their gender.

  190. 190 JamericanSpice said at 12:11 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I didn't see her article, but as a mom, I would not be comfortable with another man helping my daughter with her panties and etc in a bathroom alone.

    As parents we have every right to try to protect our children.

    Same reason I do not allow my son to go in the mens restroom by himself at age 6.

    WE are people and all of us will differ, but we all agree on protecting our love ones. We know well enough the pain of "I wish I had…"

    My recent post 9 Most Irritating Bank Fees and What to Do About Them

  191. 191 Amanda @ DenSchool said at 12:18 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    When it comes to my kids, I would rather offend now than be sorry later. We should encourage women, everyone really, to trust their instincts. Every parent has the right to say, "I don't want [insert person] in a room alone with my child" We should not condemn a parent for being a proactive one… especially in a time when so many parents don't really seem to give a damn where their kids are and who they are with.
    My recent post Enter the GuitarTrump Rocktoberfest Giveaway: Great Christmas Gift! Over $200 in Prizes!

  192. 192 davenj said at 12:33 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    What if your instincts are racist?

    Every parent should have the right to say, "I don't want [insert person] in a room alone with my child."

    However, we should have the right to condemn them if [insert person] is being asked to leave because of their gender, ethnicity, race, religion, sexual orientation, or any of a bunch of other factors that don't preclude someone from being around children.

    You present a false dichotomy in which unsubstantiated prejudice does good. With that logic you might as well kick Muslims off of airplanes. It's a disgusting defense of prejudice.

    The irony, of course, is that a life of internal prejudices is, in and of itself, incredibly harmful to a child. It is a form of abuse.

  193. 193 BeijaFlor said at 1:49 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    The problem isn't with "I only want female staff attending my daughter in the loo."

    The problem that I, and a lot of other men have, with Jenna, is the way she trumpeted her misandrist bigotry over her blog – one that evidently gets a lot of readership – and backed it up with spurious "facts" and "statistics" that are cherry-picked to justify her publicly-exhibited bigotry.

    She has become a "poster girl" for Women-Get-Consequences Week. And her actions make her a very good object lesson.

  194. 194 erinclot said at 2:30 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Absolutely. I really can't imagine what I'd do if I passed up the opportunity to speak up and something happened to one of my kids.

  195. 195 kristinnw said at 12:45 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I'm not going to pretend to have the answer or an explanation for why this is what it is. However, I know that my husband will NOT help my niece in the bathroom because it is just frowned upon. He is a great dad and a great guy and has a great relationship with my three-year-old niece. That being said, he knows that it is just not accepted as OK behavior for him to help her in the bathroom. And, he has no interest in bucking this stereotype or bigotry because it's NOT worth the conflict.

    I don't fault the mom in this situation. And, I certainly don't support harassing her, either. That's surely not the way for any group or organization to gain support for their cause. Awareness, education, enlightenment might be the better way to go.
    My recent post We’re giving away another Kindle? No way! YES way!

  196. 196 Momma bear said at 12:53 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I have three sons and three daughters and don't trust ANYONE to take them to the bathroom. I always stayed home and home schooled so never had to worry about it. I understand her concerns, but her argument was flawed from the start. Men and women can be sexual abusers and/ or pedophiles. It's a safety issue, but be clear that women are just as capable as men to hurt or abuse children. And FYI, a background check doesn't mean jack!!! It means someone hasn't been caught yet. Protect your children!!!

  197. 197 BeijaFlor said at 1:53 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    "…be clear that women are just as capable as men to hurt or abuse children."

    Thank you for attesting to that! It is the crux of this situation …

  198. 198 Amy said at 1:12 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    That's just crazy. I don't have girls – but still I don't want any random man dealing even with my son's diapers/undies in the privacy of a bathroom.
    At the nursery I work for they have policies for men – no diaper changes and no potty breaks. I think the majority of these men are relieved that they don't have to deal with pee/poop. They just do what they do best – playing and helping elsewhere.

    My recent post Heelys Review

  199. 199 davenj said at 2:26 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    You're okay with women, but not random men, helping your son in the bathroom?

    That's sexist. Men can and do handle diaper duty. The task does not require ovaries, it requires hands and eyes.

    Your discomfort reveals ingrained social sexism.

  200. 200 Maria said at 2:12 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    I haven't been able to read all of your comments but I will say this… Good for her for speaking up if it made her feel uncomfortable! Our job as parents is to protect our children and I would much rather be called names and protect my child's emotional health than stand by for fear of being ridiculed. I'm an adult and can handle it. A child who is touched inappropriately is facing a lifetime of boundary issues and emotional scars. I am not sure that I would want a man or woman helping my child in the bathroom and that is why I have made sure that my pre-schooler is independent in the bathroom. I believe that a hands off policy is best for both men and women as far at toileting goes. Or, if there is is a need for assistance that involves touch (man OR woman) there should be accountability by having another adult in the room. Just my .02!

    My recent post TTC Tea is Finally Here!

  201. 201 davenj said at 2:37 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    "Our job as parents is to protect our children and I would much rather be called names and protect my child's emotional health than stand by for fear of being ridiculed."

    Which is fine, but what about when your protection harms another child's emotional health?

    When people perpetuate stereotypes they harm others. JMK "defending" her daughter did harm to the men who volunteer at that pre-school, and to the boys who go to that pre-school.

    Stereotypes hurt. They do real emotional damage. Your right to "protect" ends where harmful stereotyping begins.

  202. 202 Maria said at 2:49 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Let's protect that man too!!! Let's just say that as he is assisting with wiping a little girl, his sleeve brushes against her leg causing her to giggle because it tickled. Then the girl says to her parent at home that the man in the bathroom tickled her when he was wiping her. That poor man's life would be ruined! Not the kids fault. Not the adults fault. Just not a good position to put any parent in. I question the schools thought process when they put parent volunteers as bathroom attendants!
    My recent post How Time Flies

  203. 203 Danny Woodhead said at 3:22 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    In case someone wants to see the brouhaha, this is her first article: http://imgur.com/a/7Y9YT

    And this is her second: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=ca

  204. 204 Jenna said at 5:26 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Thank you for that. I've been wanting to read it. Seems reasonable to me…

  205. 205 Jada said at 9:17 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    As I stated in an earlier comment, I dont agree with how JMK handled this situation on her blog, but in the past 2 days this whole fiasco has sparked some great discussions with my husband and caused me to really think about and research the MRA. The discussions were great, the AVfM has made me want to puke.

    I think there are some really valid issues they are trying to address. That need to be remedied. But if the guys on AVfM are the voice for this movement and representative of the kinds of men who are actively involved, then I am certain they will never get mainstream attention and/or effect the kind of change they desire. They are vile, disgusting and really, really frightening. The pure, unadulterated hatred of women is apparent in every article I read, and I read quite a few. There was one passage that is stuck in my mind that I cannot shake. I’ll paraphrase (because I don’t want to ever go back to that black hole of misogyny and filth) “whenever I think about those lying, skeeving c***s I can imagine cutting out their f***ing tongues.” Woah man, you need some serious psychiatric help and probably some chemical restraints. And if you and your compatriots are the same guys who want to be trusted with my kids, you are out of your mind. Forget helping them use the potty, I wouldn’t want to be in the same area code as you.

    I didn’t think JMK had anything to fear from these guys, but I take that back and I sincerely apologize. I think I would want to move if I were her. These guys are deranged and appear to be very dangerous. And they have absolutely lost any chance of convincing this woman who was very willing to engage their cause.

    Wow. Just wow.

    I feel like I need to take a shower after visiting that site and then hug my kids close to me. It has also made me so much more grateful for my husband knowing the kind of psychos that are out there.

  206. 206 GT_66 said at 11:21 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    You understand very little about men and yet you're married to one. Sleep next to one every night. Do you really know us at all? Do you not understand that the dog's bark is worse than its bite? Do you not know that the man that interacts with you is just a thin slice of the whole? Amazing.

  207. 207 Mommy to a boy said at 1:07 am on October 23rd, 2011:

    I feel exactly the same way. They seemed not to be so much for men's rights as they were women haters. I went to their site thinking that maybe I would understand their point of view better. By the time I finished reading the thread and a few other things I was with you, ready to take a shower. Many of these seem damaged. I feel sorry for them, living in a world where they perceive all women to be evil. So odd that they would call someone a bigot when so many of their posts were filled with anti female comments. I too am thankful for my husband and I pray that whatever broke these men so badly never happens to my son. I also pray that somehow someway they learn that while not every person is good, most are not out to hurt or control them.

  208. 208 erinclot said at 9:03 am on October 23rd, 2011:

    I know- when I read a quote from Paul Elam where he said if he were to see a woman being raped he'd "carry on like nothing was happening" I lost any shred of empathy for this group. Advocating for the rights of men to the detriment of women. It's pretty disgusting. My husband is totally baffled by this. Considering he's a white male raised in this same generation, obviously he was able to (unwittingly) escape whatever befell these men because he just doesn't see what there is to complain about. He's a terrific father and husband and I thank my lucky stars every day for him and God willing we can raise our sons the same way we were raised- to treat all people with respect.

  209. 209 erinclot said at 9:35 am on October 23rd, 2011:

    Yeah, I don't think they are wooing anyone over to their side with this argument, especially if people actually go to their site. Advocating violence against women is over the top. My husband and I have been talking about this for the past 2 days too and seriously- if things are as bad as they say it's a wonder he made it out unscathed! I'm so thankful I have a strong, confident man to help me raise my kids.

  210. 210 GT_66 said at 10:15 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Sorry, but she is indeed a bigot and you may be as well if you really can't see why. Just a few points, women are very close to men on statistics of child sexual abuse. It is most definitely not 99% to 1%.

    Here is an interesting article (written by a woman) relating to the matter: http://www.nationalpost.com/opinion/columnists/al

    And also, the only people who should be doing potty duty are the employees of the daycare center. As a licensed (I hope) center, the government has ensured certain standards. As hired employees, said employees should have been vetted to meet certain standards by the boss. These standards ensure that we can assume a level of care for our children comparable to a home and/or school. Restricting employees to doing potty duty serve two purposes: they create a consistent hygiene standard. Different parents taking care of different children on a constantly rotating and random basis are definitely going to create weak hygiene standards in those kids. And, they ensure that the children more easily recognize that there are distinct differences between those for whom it is okay and and for whom it is not okay to take their pants down (Jenna touched on this but in her bigotry, assigned this in a gender biased way.)

    So again, if the Jenna had not been a bigot, she might have seen that the best solution for more reasons than just her hatred and suspicion of men is to restrict potty duties to ONLY the employees of the center.

    Also, please notice from the National Post article that favored hunting grounds of female pedophiles are daycare centers, schools and home. Keeping that in mind, go to this site and look at the women getting busted for child sexual abuse: http://interested-participant.blogspot.com/ Notice the occupations of the majority of these women. If Jenna is really concerned about her daughter's welfare, she better get past her bigotry real quick or she might just find that while she was busy vilifying one gender, the other was setting her sights on her daughter.

  211. 211 phatPhuk said at 5:17 pm on October 23rd, 2011:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2052256/S

  212. 212 davenj said at 11:03 pm on October 22nd, 2011:

    Of course they should. I don't think this duty should be handled by any volunteers.

    However, Jenna didn't. She was fine with female volunteers. The issue is her bigotry, which is harmful for a few reasons. One, she didn't take issue with another problem group (female volunteers). Two, she instigates prejudices which are harmful to her child's development.

  213. 213 thomas said at 1:04 pm on October 23rd, 2011:

    I'm a man, and I actually feel like she is the bully.

  214. 214 Raven01 said at 3:03 pm on October 23rd, 2011:

    You people ARE aware that:

    1: Most male sex offenders have been victims of sexual abuse themselves. BY A WOMAN.

    Yes, that is right women are as or MORE prone to sexually abusing a child.

    2: Men really are not turned on by children at all. Except for those with mental illness or deficiencies. Often caused by sexual abuse at the hands of a woman. If we have to help fix the aftermath of an “accident” it is not even something we look forward to. Rather, we plug our noses and get on with the business of fixing the problem inorder to save the child discomfort, ridicule by other children, and health issues.

    3: A higher percentage of street youth report sexual abuse at the hands of a woman than the hands of a man.
    http://www.nationalpost.com/opinion/columnists/al

    The problem with Jenna is not her wishing to protect her children. Our motivation infact, is partially wanting to protect our children from her type of bigotry and hatred.

  215. 215 savvyshoppercentral said at 5:51 pm on October 27th, 2011:

    I don't think it is right for her home address to be readily available or for any name-calling and profanity.

    I would be more comfortable with some men I know helping a little girl than some females. As a child, I witnessed abuse by a female caretaker at a daycare. Due to that experience, my husband & I choose not to have anyone other than family & close friends care for our children until they were old enough to talk & really communicate with us.

    I don't think changing a policy to only allow same-sex volunteers or employees would prevent sexual abuse from happening, as a surprising (to many anyway) amount of abuse is committed by females on other females or males on other males. The only thing you can do is try and prevent it by making sure you trust the people around your children and making sure that your child is able to fully understand what is & isn't acceptable.
    My recent post Right At Home: Coupons, Recipes, & Freebies

  216. 216 scott2508 said at 10:35 am on October 28th, 2011:

    ok , the point that caused anger is the downright lie that 99% of sexual assaults are men , that isnt true in any way shape nor form, as a victim myself as a child and as someone who has seen many mens lives destroyed because of abuse at the hands of women and ignorance they have faced when they try to discuss it I was angry to a MAJOR degree when I saw her statement , she used a statement like that to justify discriminating between genders, it wasnt a case that she just wanted a woman to do it because she could perhaps help in ways a man might not, she stated that she did it because of fear of sexual abuse, THAT is bigoted , thats where the issue comes from .

  217. 217 CouponCabins 25 Crazy Dayz Pay-to-Play Event | The Slacker Mom said at 12:07 am on November 1st, 2011:

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  220. 220 Frankie de Vera said at 4:51 pm on October 23rd, 2012:

    As I am a instructional assistant at my local elementary school, I think I was discriminated against due to my gender. As I'm a substitute at the moment, any really job can help me again experience within a classroom, plus I need the money too. Recently, I agreed for a 2 week position for preschool, I worked the first day at the preschool class and I think I did a reasonably good job. However, when I got home I was told I was "reassigned" due to the potty duty issue. While I had told the teacher I have not changed diapers in awhile, I practically raised my nieces, that I haven't done it in awhile since they are much older. I'm an effeminate male and I know that I am as nurturing as other women. While, I don't know if its the school's policy or the teacher bias, I think I was discriminated against.

    More so as women continue to battle against discrimination in the work place and equality, I don't see this as any different from telling a woman she can't be a fire fighter or a police officer. I passed all my background checks, and I am a warm person with a big heart. I don't agree with this policy, and by no means am I rushing to change diapers. But as I need these assignments for money and experience, I don't see this as any different from when women were fired from jobs simply because they were women. At the heart of this issue is reverse discrimination, but one that is unlikely to be solved anytime soon.


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