A few weeks ago I posted in response to a fellow blogger who was raked over the coals by a men’s rights activist group led by Paul Elam because she requested that the preschool her daughter attended establish a policy for bathroom breaks. She wasn’t cool with men who were not employed by the school taking her daughter to the potty and was worried about a rotating group possibly muddying the waters when her daughter needed to make the distinction between who was and who wasn’t OK taking down her pants.
She was trying to protect her 2-year-old daughter. Trying to do the right thing, being a Mama Bear, always on guard. The MRA’s didn’t like that. They called her a bigot and lambasted her for daring to question the school, for suggesting that there was anything wrong with planting the seed that any man her daughter “knew” was OK to take down her panties.
On the other hand we have the situation at Penn State University. Where parents let their kids spend alone time with an adult male without questioning whether that seemed odd or not. Where this man was walked in on (on multiple occasions) while he was laying on top of young boys whom he was sexually abusing…..and no one said a word. At least not to anyone who was going to put a stop to it.
Because he was well respected. Because he was a coach. Because no one wanted to rock the boat and shed a dark light on PSU.
So, two sides of the spectrum.
A lot of the MRA’s who commented here alluded to the fact that they had been abused as children by care givers. So I want to know- what is the better stance here? Wouldn’t it have been better if an adult in your life had stepped in and put a stop to it? As parents, should we be constantly on the look-out and vigilant or should we let things slide and not question too much so we don’t step on any toes?
I say vigilance is the only thing that I can live with. If I step on toes, so be it. If I were to let down my guard so I didn’t hurt someones feelings and something happened to my child I could never forgive myself.
I cannot even come up with the words I would speak to these people who saw this and let it continue. The people who knew it was happening and turned a blind-eye.
To Joe Paturno I say this: In a television interview you said this has brought you much sorrow over the years. You are a despicable human being who did the minimum required of you by law. You failed to meet the requirements of being a human being. You can take your sorrow. I don’t want to hear about how this has made you feel. YOU could have stopped this. You have had years to come forth with this information and yet you soldiered on…
When we put a college football empire above the well-being of children, we have failed.
And to Jo: you are amazing. You put a face on this for all to see. Thank you for sharing and speaking out for the kids who do not have a voice.