It’s a nice clean slate.
I feel like all I’ve done this month is talk about diapers (and mostly I have!) I love them, but I am happy for a little break. Last month both flew by and crawled at a snails pace. It’s been chaotic and stressful and also full of some great moments (like when Lincoln pointed at a picture of fat Elvis and said “Daddy!”- I can’t make this up).
On the home front we’ve had a lot of autism issues to deal with. Just when you think you have a handle on everything you get thrown a curve ball. When the curve ball comes from family it hits particularly hard. We like to think everyone is on the same page, that we are lucky, that we aren’t one of the families who on top of the awesomeness (heh) of autism, has to also deal with the super critical eye of family. But we were kidding ourselves. Or maybe we just wanted to believe everyone got it and was on board. We’re now to the point of being self-conscious of our kids and bowing out of family functions. I never wanted to be here, but here we are.
Anyways, we are happy to have a super supportive team of teachers and therapists behind us to reinforce that we are doing exactly what we should be doing (and also remind us that they are only 3). We need to hear that. We need to hear that often. This is autism, autism is hard and weird and sometimes destructive and sometimes you just have to roll with it. There are no easy answers, this isn’t going away- you just deal with it and find the things that lessen the tantrums and bring around the eye contact and the engagement. In the case of our sensory seeking boys- jumping and knocking shit over.
I think it’s hard for people to remember that this wasn’t exactly what we imagined when we decided to become parents and we are doing everything we can for our kids. It’s like a punch in the gut when we get criticized and emotionally it sets us back to square one, wanting to hole up with our kids and avoid everyone and everything. Not where I expected to be after a year, especially since the boys have made some amazing strides.
In the past 2 weeks we added in a new therapy that we had been waiting to get through the holidays to add because it is so intensive- the Wilbarger Protocol (brushing and compressions). Lincoln has been doing this on a weekly basis for a few months now but it’s new for Wyatt and doing it every few hours all day every day is new for them both. The eventual intent is for them to be able to regulate and engage better between sessions and we can definitely see glimpses of that.
On the other hand, we have also seen some setbacks in other areas (which is to be expected)- more biting/ hand chewing, more tantrums, more destructiveness. Maybe we’re just more quick to jump after our vacation but it’s wearing on all of us at this point. I am in a constant state of high alert and my nerves are completely shot. It’s pretty much endless whining and screaming from Wyatt (on top of him taking his pants off every chance he gets) so needless to say, our days can be pretty stressful.
Did I mention they all work together (sort of) to open doors and knock down baby gates?
I’m crossing my fingers that February is an excellent month and we can all relax a bit. Yogi Dad took an impromptu day off tomorrow so I could get out of the house and away from the boys.
I have no idea what I’m going to do with myself.