I am failing miserably.
I keep messing around with my goals on My Fitness Pal. (More calories? Less calories? More protein? More carbs?)
I keep skipping days at the pool.
I keep going over on calories (and not with good foods).
I keep putting off entering my food on MFP.
I am frustrated with how hard this is for me and how easy it has been for my husband. (For reference, we started the same time and I have lost maybe 6 pounds and he has lost 30. Thirty. As in five times as much as I have.)
If I’m being honest, it pisses me off. Not that he’s lost the weight- I’m glad for him. But that it’s seemingly so much easier for him.
But this isn’t his first rodeo. He’s had weight loss goals before and he always drops the pounds. I have never really taken this seriously before, never carried anything out past flipping through a book and maybe changing a few things in my diet for a few weeks.
Nothing like this.
It’s just bizarre that I can go to the gym and work my ass off in the pool for an hour and then come home and eat a salad with cranberries, poached chicken and fat free dressing and not budge on the scale. It’s maddening.
So I need to reevaluate. Am sabotaging myself? Do I need to add more calories back in? It seems like the weeks I saw the best results were the weeks I had splurge days.
I am going to do two things.
First, I am changing my goal so it’s something within reach so I don’t have to look at that 46 over there on my sidebar and feel like a failure. I’m changing to 10 pound goals. I need the reinforcement of reaching a milestone otherwise I’m just hanging out here saying “fuck it” because nothing is happening anyways.
I am also going to ramp my calories back up. I’m going to give that a month and see what happens. If I see progress that way, we’ll stick with that but I have to stop playing around with my numbers hoping that something is going to click. At 1600 calories I would still be on track to lose 1 pound a week which is my goal.
So there it is.
Tell me I’m not crazy. Tell me to keep going! Tell me how to deal with a partner who is having amazing success while I am stuck in neutral.