This story is about poop. You have been warned.
On Saturday we started to notice the boys had green poops.
Like. REALLY green. Like maybe somewhere between Green and Mountain Meadow.
At first we just went with it. I tried to figure out why exactly it was so brightly hued. What did they eat yesterday? We had Beef Stroganoff with butter and dill noodles…perhaps that new jar of dill was artificially doctored up with food coloring? It was exceptionally green.
The green poops continued on Sunday and I was starting to get a little skeptical on my dill theory. Lots of poop. Many more diaper changes than normal. All bright bright green. All three boys.
Seriously. What. The. Hell.
As we were walking out the door to my moms on Sunday for dinner I noticed a TomCat mouse bait “house” out of the corner of my eye and my brain started to go crazy. TomCat mouse baits are exactly the color I was seeing in diaper after diaper.
(mouse bait…not poop)
Earlier in the week I had cleaned out all of the drawers and cabinets in our kitchen and had moved 3 mouse baits (we have had a few over the past year and they all come in the same way so I always have a pet/kid proof “bait house” in certain cupboards and drawers just in case). I did have one bait that was NOT in a bait house though and I couldn’t for the life of me remember if I had put it under the locked sink. I was pretty sure I had, but since I couldn’t check I was going crazy trying to figure this out.
Once I got to my mom’s I hopped on her computer to do a little Googling: “I might have poisoned my kid with mouse bait” and “what happens if your kid eats TomCat mouse bait?” and “how do I know if my kid ate mouse poison?”. (Mom of the Year moment over here.) What I was seeing wasn’t good- tell-tale signs might not show up for weeks, bad bad things can happen…ugh.
So, I called poison control. (That’s 1-800-222-1222 if you didn’t know.)
I explained the situation to the person who answered (they answer really quickly, having never called poison control I wasn’t sure what to expect) and after discussing it with a few other people, they decided that the green poops were probably NOT the result of eating mouse bait unless they had all three eaten an entire mouse bait in which case they would all three probably be having other symptoms.
OK. I could relax a little bit. I still wanted to get home and make sure that one stray mouse bait was in fact accounted for*, but I felt better knowing they didn’t think I needed to rush to the ER right this minute.
We went on with our evening, having a delicious dinner with my mom and sister. Afterwards we were sitting in the living room and I casually told my mom that I was letting the boys have sugar cereal. I was letting them have Fruit Loops and how they were kind of obsessed with them (they rarely get sugar cereal so this was a huge treat).
And then it dawned on me.
Green and blue fruit loops.
You know those things are just swimming in food coloring.
So, that is probably the end of Fruit Loops. It makes me crazy to think of all that crap just going into their bodies for nothing more than visual appeal. We don’t drink juice very often, they don’t get fruit snacks or things like that on a daily basis. The only thing I indulged them in were popsicles and freeze pops in the summer because it was so freaking hot all the time, but even those never resulted in atomic green diapers!
It’s back to Rice Krispies and Shredded Wheat I guess. I guess that’s what you get from a mom who’s favorite cereal is Grape Nuts.
I’m usually pretty on top of these kids so this was wildly out of character to have no idea what they may or may not have put into their mouths. I guess I will double down on the helicopter parenting from now on…
*I did find the open mouse bait- it was right were I thought it would be, locked up under the sink.